Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Incoglilo on Giving

Do you help because you're selfish?
Is loving yourself selfish? Could it be related to how much you love yourself? Or do you love yourself more than anybody or anything in this world? Most mothers love their children more than they love themselves. Sometimes a little bit too much. Anyway, that is not the main point of this post. The idea I am trying to present here, is the fact that we do things for others sometimes because we love ourselves. For example, donating, or helping, or giving someone a ride, asking them to be careful in the cold weather, because well if they get sick, it is us who will buy the remedies and take care of the ill person.

I always thought that giving has a big question mark on it. We can definitely relate it to the balance of things in life. How often do you see people give away their life, doctors without frontiers for example, and those who teach illiterate youngsters, they do that just to be a volunteer in some camp somewhere remote from his/her family working just for food and shelter? Some enroll in certain well-known organization and NGOs, we're talking great benefits and awesome salaries, not to forget the amazingly rich experience they will draw at the end of their mission, so are they doing it for others or themselves? Or both?

What about donating money or clothes or toys, are we clearing our minds from any guilt? Are we happy when we know we made someone else happy? The real question is, is it so wrong?

Give when asked, but better to give when unasked
Gibran Khalil Gibran told us about "Giving" in his book "The prophet". That chapter stuck to my mind, and this was probably the only time the Arabic literature teacher was proud of me, because it was a first to participate with a knowledge I had reached due to the fact that I had read the book thanks to my big brother who left the book lying somewhere in the house. Here's an excerpt:

You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.
For what are your possessions but things you keep and guard for fear you may need them tomorrow?
...And what is fear of need but need itself?
...There are those who give little of the much which they have - and they give it for recognition and their hidden desire makes their gifts unwholesome.
...It is well to give when asked, but it is better to give unasked, through understanding;
...All you have shall some day be given; Therefore give now, that the season of giving may be yours and not your inheritors'.
...You often say, "I would give, but only to the deserving." The trees in your orchard say not so, nor the flocks in your pasture.
...See first that you yourself deserve to be a giver, and an instrument of giving. For in truth it is life that gives unto life - while you, who deem yourself a giver, are but a witness...

Secret Giving
Some argue that giving should be in secret, that I highly respect, and is definitely very hard to accomplish. I mean, how can you give and help others without telling your surrounding of what you did, because after all you feel proud and happy, and your want your family and friends to look at you and be proud of you in return, yet is that the real purpose of giving?

We might think that maybe giving shouldn't be in secret for it might inspire others to do so. Possibly! But it's also possible that these rich people might give a very low percentage of what they have, and that is technically casi nothing to them, and as Jesus puts it The Widow's Gift Mark 12:41-43:

"This poor woman put in more than the rich people did," he said. "Here's why: the rich people still have much money left.  But this woman only had two coins."

Yet again, those who need, do they care where it came from? Isn't the "casi nothing" of the rich folks "casi a lot" for them?

10th commandment
Let's talk about the tenth commandment, which states:

"You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's."

I was talking with a client yesterday, whom is one of the amazing acquaintances I met along this year, and I thank the greater force aka GOD for crossing my path into theirs, and while I was saying that people work hard (in general) to attain a certain position in life which is "having a better life", he continued by saying: "having a better life than the others!" And I couldn't agree more, they say here that people often accumulate money to make other people envious.

We often enjoy possessing things that others do not have. It makes us seem special. So we boast about our possessions.
A reporter asked Nelson Rockefeller, "How much money does it take to be happy?" He replied, "Just a little bit more."

All this reminds me of the sweet revenge, the best revenge is to lead a happy life. This kind of revenge is definitely much better than "an eye for an eye" kind of revenge, it puts us in a whole different level, another caliber, leading a good life which lead others to envy us and thus us having our sweet revenge is a two-sided sword. If we care enough to "lead a good life" in order to have our revenge, than are we really "leading a good life"? Depending on others envy in order to be happy is not a good variable to rely on in a formula. Best would be to change the formula into one that exclude that variable.

That same person, the client I saw yesterday, who is an interior designer, told me that people want to see his house all the time, so they can see his style of work, he said: "I give people the style they asked for, because it is what they need, this is a dose from one of the things in life they need in order to be happy(ier), or not, I don't know, I don't care, but my house, there is no style, I want my house to be comfortable, people see it and tell me, these those old chairs don't go here, I tell them, sit on it, and they do and notice how comfortable they are! I have a vase that my sister gave me, and a statue I brought back from Africa or wherever, these things are sentimental to me and bring good memories, but they don't go together... who cares, I am comfortable this way"

Back to square one
This square is hideous isn't it? So we established that people do things in order to be better than other, the client did things to be comfortable, he had possessions, is he deemed to give them away now? Is this it? Are we not allowed to have anything? Or is it the way we look at them.

Never go back to square one, just step one square prior.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

ليلى يلّي منعرفها ماشي حالا بالمبدأ، يس في كتير لأ

This post is part of

"We Are All Laila" aims at highlighting women's problems and prompting them to draw real images of their own experiences in order to open a dialogue that can lead to changing the ideas of a whole society.

بدي اكتب بالعربي اللبناني ولو راح تاخد معي الخبرية تلات ساعات.

 ليلى يلّي منعرفها ماشي حالا بالمبدأ، يس في كتير لأ.

في ليلى بعرفها اغتصبها ابن زوج امها، واغتصب امها كمان، البنت كان عمرعها 12 او 13، الام أكيد كانت عارفي بس ساكتة لأنو زوجها كان متوفّي وهي ما معها لا شهادة ولا اموال  تخليا تفلّ وتستقرّ لاحالها.في كتير متلها ومتايل.

ليلى تانية بعرفها راحت خطيفة، وقفت مدرسة وشغل، اجاها ولاد عل سريع، وصارت حياتها كلّها لولادها وكل ثانية بتمرؤ وهي ندمانة ومش مبسوطة.

ليلى القرن الواحد وعشرين، صار مطلوب منّها اكتر بكتير، كان كل شيء لازم تعملو من قبل هوي تطبخ، تهتمّ بالبيت، وتربّي هل الاولاد، هلئ صار عندا "كرّير"، يلي هو شي ضروري لتنمية المرأة من الناحية الفكرية والشخصية. وبعد في رجال بتفكرّ انو المرا لازم تكون محضرتلو العشا وقت يرجع من شغلو، حتى لو هي كمان كانت بالشغل، وبدا تنضف وتحمم الاولاد، وتكويلو القميص، وبدا تكون حلوي كمان، لأنّو الحقّ عليا بالأخير اذا زوجها اتطلّع على واحدة ثانية.

ليلى، في كتير ما بيعرفو قيمتك، وما بيعرفو انت يشو عم تمرئي، ويا حزينة هيدا هوي قدرك.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

How I spent my birthday/night

23:58  Parking my car
23:59  Trying to put the umbrella outside through the door to avoid rain
00:00  Did not avoid rain - Ran to the building
00:02  Tried to open the door
00:03  Door wouldn't open, door lock ain't performing its duties!
00:04  Tried to open the door
00:05  Door wouldn't open, door lock ain't performing its duties!
00:06  Door wouldn't open, door lock ain't performing its duties!
00:15  Called bro checked if he passed by... he did, it didn't open either, he tried to call me, didn't have network
00:16  Tried to open the door
00:24  Door wouldn't open, door lock ain't performing its duties!
00:25  Ran to the car with my umbrella open
00:26  Entered the car and closed umbrella while trying to avoid rain
00:27  Avoided rain but umbrella was wet.. didn't avoid umbrella!
00:43  Arrived to my bro's place
01:10  Went to sleep
02:00  Still can't sleep baby crying
03:00  Baby cried, woke me up
04:00  Baby cried, woke me up
06:00  Baby cried, woke me up
07:10  Snoozed alarm
07:19  Snoozed alarm
07:28  Snoozed alarm
07:37  Snoozed alarm
07:43  Got out of sofa, put on same clothes as yesterday and drove to work. 

Saturday, December 19, 2009

A sentence that starts with "Despite your good work..." never ends well.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

your heart beat through my shirt

I can feel your heart beat through my shirt
Just say yes, just say there's nothing holding you back

It's not a test, nor a trick of the mind

Only love

Amazing song for Snow Patrol! To download the song click here

I have a wish, and it is to have a chance for one time to play music for a radio show!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Urgent - Crisis in Copenhagen

With three days to go, the crucial Copenhagen summit is failing.  

Tomorrow, the world's leaders arrive for an unprecedented 60 hours of direct negotiations. Experts agree that without a tidal wave of public pressure for a deal, the summit will not stop catastrophic global warming of 2 degrees.  

Click below to sign the petition for a real deal in Copenhagen -- the campaign already has a staggering 10 million supporters - let's make it the largest petition in history in the next 72 hours! Every single name is actually being read out at the summit -- sign on at the link below and forward this email to everyone!

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Why I am not married yet!

Conversation #1:
-"So..." he looked at my left hand ".. are you married?" He asked
-"Nop, I'm not!" I answered
-"Why?" He asked

I stared at him for 3, 4 seconds and replied: "Why are you wearing a flannel?"

That was a real conversation I had with a guy I knew back at school, and yes he was wearing a flannel! (I believe I had more right asking him about his indecency - i.e. wearing a flannel to pecha kucha night, then him asking me why I'm not married yet)

Conversation #2:
-"Hey lilo!" mwah mwah "missed you so much!" hugs.. then he looked at my left hand, then right hand, then he said: "Not married? nor engaged?"
-I answered "No!" with a smile on my face. These were two guys I knew years back during the metal scene. These two were the last persons I thought would ask me such a question!

Conversation #3:
-"I thought you were married ya 7abibte!" The cleaning lady said
-"Oh, because it's a big house?" (it's 3 bedrooms and I live alone in it, so I assumed she calculated the beds)
-"No no... but .. because you're what, 25? I thought you were married that's why!" She continued, insinuating that 25 is a bit old to be still single
-"Oh noooooooo, I am not 25! I'm 29!" (I am still 28, still got 2 weeks, but wanted to rub it in her face!)

Conversation #4:
(post edited, I just remembered this conversation!) That was summer 2007.
- "How old are you? 26? You should be married already!" - Cousin's husband said
- "hmmm... don't get it, why?" I innocently asked.
- "You've got only like what... 10? 11 years where you can have children!!" He continued

And then you should've seen my face! My biological clock was ticking, only 11 years, how will I make it? how will I get married, have intercourse, get pregnant and have a child within 11 years? This is just too little... god *I cried*.. god please, have mercy... (Ok, no I didn't do that, my brother actually jumped in and told him to f*ck off)

I am still single, I am 29 years old, the reason why I am not married (answering the people who look at me with pity in their eyes 'cause am still single) is (pick your favorite):
- I am just butt ugly
- I burp and fart and that ain't lady like!
- I am a lesbian
- I nag too much that nobody wants to marry me
- I can't have children
- I am abnormal
- I am so f*ckin' stupid and boring, even zuzu ibba doesn't wanna marry me
- Nobody ever proposed
- Nobody loves me
- I am too smart and too pretty and too sexy that many men feel intimidated by me and can't handle me.
- I was waiting for you all my life.
- In reality the guy I love died, a dragon came and bit his head off

Seriously, what do people expect from me to say when they ask me "why aren't you married yet?"

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Soldier of Love

I found it!

For you!

Sub-Consciousness Analysis

I had several weird dreams last night. The first was about a friend of mine, who got married last July (no children yet), anyway I saw her and a daughter who's called Celine (or something close to it), and her daughter was very cute and smart. So I sent her an sms today telling her about it, it turns out she's pregnant.

The second was about Liam Neeson in Taken, there were rooms with no ceilings all beside each other, so in total we can say it's a very long rectangle, but the floor was a garden, with some plants and a lot of snow. Anyway some guy told a little girl (9 - 10 years old) to play in the second room, then Liam Neeson comes to get her, the girl has vanished. Apparently the first guy's partner hid her. So Liam Neeson decides to search for her in the last room, the other guy (who had a large wooden stick in his hand) tells him: "What's your motivation?" Liam (eh first name basis), says: "If I don't find her in the last room, you can shove this stick in my a$$" (Naughty Liam eh?), so he goes and finds his girl, and then beats the hell out of the guy with the stick.

The other dream was that my boyfriend parked his car beneath my building, he had a convertible car, beige leather seats, and it was black (a dream indeed :P), anyway some people started bashing some of the car (in a very girly way), and I started yelling all the way form the balcony at them. Then we went down, I saw it, fixed it, was too easy to fix. This dream has no meaning, does it?

Ok been a long time since I saw my friend or spoke with her, and been a long time since I saw the movie Taken. How does my brain function? No Idea!