Poor Jessica Biel

First item to be crossed over from my new todo list (which has been set since October 2007) is the 2nd checkpoint! Paris, j'aghive. This list is a hard one, a long term one, but there is always hope.

Checkpoint #6 is probably the hottest one, and people waiting for me to actually accomplish it... but seriously! Jessica Biel? Me? She's trying her best, but it's a tough one. She even sent me an email begging me to tell her my secret, I told her: "Jess, sweety, take a hold of yourself, I really do nothing, this is how I am, but you, you have to work out 6 times a week, with weight cardio, jogging and all that, and eat a strict diet... you have to, little people like you struggle to become amazing like people like me!"

She cried, and thanked me endlessly, after praising me for an hour!

Yep, that was my dream yesterday :P

It's not midnight yet

It's not midnight yet
I can still stay awake
I don't want to go to sleep
I want to go to a lake


Ok ok, enough with the lousy poem attempt. It's just that it is not midnight yet, for me, it means am not breaking the rules, the rules that nobody put, nobody knows of, and nobody follows, except for me. This is my time of freedom, my time, for me, and I get to do whatever I want, before I go to sleep. I can still stay awake, because it is not midnight yet. It is my time for me.

Crazy thoughts and whatnot

Write from the heart. A piece of advice I received lately. How do you write from the heart? Do you like connect your keyboard to your heart? Or do you move your eyes to your heart?

It is amazing how we know that when we think, it's actually from up there, from that egg shaped ball that we call head. Even if we don't study the anatomy of the human body, we can sense that all the processing of the perception of the outside world is done inside our own Arnabita! It looks like one, it also looks like naked walnuts, or like irish cream thrown in liquor, also known as BRAIN DAMAGE shot :P

Can you imagine if your eyes were in your stomach? or better yet, on your toes? Okay crazy thought, but what if, our eyes remain in the same location as now but our brains are in our foot. We'd be dumber, you know, since it will take longer for the perception of the outside world to reach the brain, and then its response to travel back up, possibly out from your hands or mouth or even your eyes. You know, eyes are not only an input device (computer term, i.e. Keyboard and Microphone), it is also an output device (also computer term, i.e. Screen, Sound Blasters). Because I personally can speak with my eyes, I actually once ordered a hamburger with them!... Without onions and with cheese.

Maybe this is why it is faster to speak than it is to write or type. It's all related to how far an organ is from the brain! So genius of me!

Ok really, am not high on anything. I am just writing from the heart. I got a feeling that I am going to click on the SAVE NOW button instead of PUBLISH POST. I am so silly. And I like it :)

You know what? I am gonna click on ....

It's always personal!

People tend to misunderstand all the time, which leads them to assume things and jump into conclusions, and take actions. Actions such as stop talking to someone, learning how to dance, learn a new language, learn how to fight, fight back, learn some mean quips, hate, judge, curse, hurt... The list is long.

On a very low level, individual to individual, sometimes things can go bad. And in order to comprehend someone, many things should be donw such as understanding where they came from, slowing down on the judging, trying more to reach out, transforming our hate into love, all that in order to be able to fix things. But, it's so hard sometimes, so difficult, and it does now always deem successful for us to fix things.

So how about a high level. Although the word "high" is not really meant in its honorable state here. How can, two groups of people, listening to one side, seeing one point of view, afraid of the other group, scared for their own exisence, beleiving in a certain idea... How can they understand where the other group comes from, slow down on judging this other group, try to reach out more to them, transform their hate into love, their xenophobia into trust, in order to fix things?

Balance of evil and good in this world, some say it's necessary, but what happens when evil is more ubiquitous than good, when balance is no longer just, when bad things occur more than good things, and when people drown and sink into hurting more than helping?

And what is worse, some think that they're helping while they are really hurting!

Ahhh finally

I've been preparing myself for writing this post for quite some time, read a whole bunch of my fellow bloggers which I haven't paid a visit to for a long while, so am here, I read some articles, checked some pictures, commented on things, took an apointment for a friend of mine, an interior designer, to check the house we're getting and what we can do with it... clearing my mind, preparing myself, inhaling, exhaling... am cool. Ready...

And then I get invited to go eat a Kafta sandwich with Joe, and I realize I have to do the dishes before he comes and picks me up...

So... Am sorry to disappoint you, but no great post today. Come back tomowwooow

Happy Women`s Day

Kafa - Enough violence and Exploitation.

Kafa is a non-profit organization, dedicated to help women and children who are being abused verbally and physically.

This is their contact info and address:
Address: 43, Badaro Street, Beydoun Bldg., First Floor, Beirut - Lebanon
P.O.Box: 116-5042
Helpline: 961-3-018 019
Website: www.kafa.org.lb

Bill Gates is now only the 3rd richest man in the world?

Bill Gates was the world’s richest man for 13 years but this year he has dropped to third on the Forbes list. The Harvard dropout and Microsoft founder is also one of the world’s most generous philanthropists..

Wow, respect man! I guess he is no longer the richest person in the world because he donated in billions! I remember last year he had $71 billion.

This time, Lebanese descendent, Carlos Slim Helu (now referred to as Mexican), has become the 2nd richest man in the world. ($60 Billion). Good thing is that he also helps out.

Helú has donated almost $7 billion to projects in Mexico City.

Ok check this guy out:

IKEA’s billionaire founder Ingvar Kamprad: it is said that, in spite of the 81-year-old's wealth, he still drives a Volvo and flies economy class.

(Respect to the IKEA guy too! 7elo rasso eh? I can't wait till I can start flying first class, badna nmid ijrayna wlo!)

And compare him to this guy:

Lakshmi Mittal is known for his spending. In 2004 he spent an estimated £34 million on his daughter’s wedding...

There are families in Lebanon that live on 250$ per month! I think I read somewhere, some families in the poor countries live on a single dollar... This world is not balanced!

The wealthiest woman's name is Liliane Bettencourt, heir to the L’Oreal fortune. (There is hope for me I guess)

Last but not least, the youngest richest person in the world is no stranger but our dearest and closest friend, Mark Zuckerberg, the FACEBOOK guy! He's only 23, and Forbes estimated his worth at $1.5 Billion. Eh mish 3atlin!

Pretty weird

Due to public massive demands, I am writing another post (by public massive demand, I mean AM's comment: "Wlik waynik") :P.

End of February, beginning of March seems to be the month of change for me, am not sure if I am to accept this change, or just experience the possibility of having a change in one's life. Why is that? Maybe it is here to only teach me some more things about myself. This change is on a couple of levels, personal and professional. So yey for me!

I should check the horoscope, maybe they're saying something about this. Okay, I did not check the horoscope, I am sagittarius, anyone knows anything about it?

Anyway, what I learned so far, is that if you think you know everything, then think again. ("DUH" is the word am expecting you to wonder at this moment, but bare with me, I am looking at it from a different point of view, so come look with me)
Just when you think that you have things under control, and you know what you want, you get a job interview just out of nowhere. You show up, planning to only do the minimum required, because you really don't want that job, and if you're like me, and has been asked a question, you cannot but answer honestly, and in consequence, the honest answers (from someone like me) gets you the job.

Years ago, I used to think of myself as a very smart person. And I really think I was. I was smart because it mattered to me a lot. I worked hard on thinking in a smart way (yes, you're not only born smart, you actually need to also increase your intelligence through various ways). However, I have reached a point where I don't think am so smart anymore (even though my IQ is higher, my general knowledge has increased, got a savvy experience and my technical skills have improved), yet I feel less smart (don't care the same way I did). You see, for me it is not just a matter of GREATER THAN ">". It should be GREATER THAN WHAT I SHOULD HAVE BECOME at this point of my life. Anyway, I hope I keep up this motivation, seriously man, if I am as motivated as I am today, Einstein would be my pet! And his nickname would be 7ayfa. (Don't ask why)

In deed, this is the secret to intelligence. It is just wanting to know more, learn more and do more. If you're lucky, you would be born a little bit smarter than the average joe, and you get a head start.

Finally, I would like to exempt you from commenting on this post (this is a trick, because if you comment than I will know you did not read the whole thing *evil laugh*), because I can obviously see that it's long! But not boring :D, right? Am not boring! :)

Invest?

There is this passage in the bible (don't remember it exactly, but only the moral), about a man giving 3 people money and who came back after a year to see that one spent it all, one hid it and one invested with it.

I remember I thought when I was young, that the one who hid the money, and kept it as it is was the one to be rewarded by his master, because he did not risk losing it, so he can return it in full. To my surprise, it was the one who invested with the money, that had actually done it right. I hadn't understood it for years, I insisted that it was the one who hid it, that should've been the right choice.

But now and for this I think, does anyone know if I want to invest, where should I start?

I know am messed up, do you?

Ahhh the beauty of messy-ups! The various, the creative, the horrible messed-up some persons can be.

I know I am, do you?

Same as there are the semestrial exams at schools, and the midterms and finals in universities and such, I have my own... trimestrial or monthly (it depends) test, verification, examination, check-up, whatever you want to call it.

And I love it, it's a long process, always accompanied with depression, anger, frustration, tension, pressure, rudeness, self-consciousness, insecurity, vulnerability, susceptibility, concentration and lack of concentration, confusion... nevertheless and never failed me till now, it always ends with inspiration, clarity, assurity and confidence.

It doesn't last long, before the next exam is due. But am bound to graduate some time, right?

So long suckerzzzzzzzz!

Wish I can be as cool as this guy

So much for being inspired and motivated, I can't ever write a decent post. For me, it's important. Not because I want to show off my writing skills, because I humbly say, I am not a good writer. By good writer I mean, those people who use words that no one understands, metaphors that only waste time for someone to finally comprehend them. Nevertheless, if everything in life is straight forward, then it would be as boring as hell.

Anyway, losing my temper quickly is something I have tried to overcome over the past years. I can't deny that I have become much better at controling my temper. moreover I am less emotional than I used to. Although there is one thing I was not able to get rid of, and that is moodiness.

Moodiness in my opinion is for the weak and susceptible. I, on the other hand, like to think that I am strong and in control. However, some people just know how to get on my nerves, and they're usually close people.

Mathematically speaking, I can eliminate the close people, by implication the problem. Or psychologically blablaicly speaking, I can try to look inside myself, listen in depth to my thoughts and feelings and see what is really bothering me, and begin healing myself starting that point.

Freakin duh, I know what's wrong and there is nothing I can do about it at this moment! Let me give you a slight preview, which many will most probably refer to as nagging.

Buying a house <-- Needing money <-- Making money <-- Job itself gets nowhere, therefore need to find a bright idea or make business of my own <-- No capital to start <-- Find an investor <-- You're in Lebanon <-- Stop giving excuses <-- Okay fine, I will do a business plan and run it by investors <-- Okay fine, now pick the good idea <-- I have none, all the ones I have are when I am sleeping, then I wake up and forget them <-- Idiot <-- Thank you! like you're not, you're my brain and I use you to think, so you're the idiot <-- Fine whatever, live in the moment <-- I am and it sucks!!!

Ok enough, now you guys know a bit of how my brain and I function!

My new list

Okay this list is not a TO-DO list in 6 months, it's more of a long term thing, so here it is:

- Learn how to ride a Motorbike
- Go to Paris
- Go to Newyork
- Drift a car (Tokyo drift style)
- Learn basic electricity and mechanics of cars
- Have body like Jessica Biel
- Learn Spanish (yo quiero ir a la casa)
- Study for a new degree (either in Math or Psychology, whatcha think?)

Anta Akhi - Christmas Package

Chers amis,

Cette année aussi, Anta Akhi offre un joli paquet à l'approche de Noël.
10 Cartes dessinées par nos jeunes atteints de handicap,
avec un sac de chocolat produit par le SeSoBEL..
Le tout à 20.000 LL livré chez vous!

Merci de diffuser cet email à vos amis et connaissances
pour nous aider à atteindre un plus grand nombre de personnes!

Votre aide est très précieuse!

Au nom de nos jeunes: MERCI MERCI MERCI!

Chantal

Pour vos commandes:
Anta Akhi: 04.408890 ou 04.415365
Email: antaakhi@yahoo.com

Talking about happiness

Coco suggested that I write about happiness instead of fears. I know that she thought I was depressed or bothered when I wrote about my fears, but I really wasn't. I felt like, once you admit what you're afraid of, you can at least challenge it or realise it and maybe get over it.

As for happines, here's a mind breaker, I don't think it exists in general. We have been brought up to think that money does not bring happiness. However, I have lived all my life in the middle class (in a very struggling middle class, not the rich middle class), and the only thing that I can say is, Money does not NOT bring happiness, because I wouldn't know. For many, happiness is the lack of sadness, and maybe its the same with me.

You see life is nothing but a series of moments, and if you're happy this moment, then you're happy all your life.
Like when I was a kid, I used to tell myself, why is holding your breath that hard, every second just say I want to hold it for another second? But of course, it's not that simple, and being happy is not that simple either.

In my opinion, people lie to themselves all the time, they live in denial and suppressed memories. But not to sound so gloomy, I do experience happy moments in my life. Which ones? well here's a list:

1- ..

(wow writing a happy list is much harder than the fears list... wait I still didn't give up)

1- ..

(a minute passed and still nothing)

1- Having a great conversation with someone (no one in specific, just anyone, a friend, a relative, a stranger, a colleague), like a deep conversation
2- Learning about something after knowing about for so long but never knowing how it works
3- Helping someone without knowing (but of course learning about it after some time)
4- Realising each day that maybe we do have a lot of family problems, but as long as they are all alive and healthy, I am happy
5- Seeing my nephew after some time, and now another nephew was born 2 weeks ago, so double happiness
6- How some friends sometimes do the nicest small things just to show support and agreement
7- How some friends understand you when you go cou-cou
8- Receiving a gift without expecting it, even if it's a useless gift, but you know, those gifts which show that someone was thinking about you at some point
9- Eating something delicious after craving it for some time
10- Music

Wow, I did it :), thanks coco. There is a lot of stuff out there you can be happy about, you just need to know what to focus on more I guess.

My first optimistic post. Injez.

Talking about fears

Inspired by NT who was inspired by MMMMMMMMM, I decided to talk about my fears too.

I am afraid of worms.
I am afraid of getting old.
I am afraid of losing someone I love so much, thus I try not to love as hard as I can.
I am afraid of losing my memory.
I am afraid of being thought of as less intelligent than I think of myself.
I am afraid of never finding happiness.
I am afraid of never accomplishing anything.
I am afraid of going to the bank.
I am afraid of doing any kind of paperwork needed to be processed, waiting in line and stuff.
I am afraid of dying.

Oké bi kaffé la lyom!

P.S. As a matter of fact it was poshlemon who inspired NT in the first place concerning writing about own's fears. So thanks Posh

- I am also afraid of flying (planes)

What? Who? Where?

This morning, just when I got to work, a colleague of mine said:
- "Liliane, didn't you forget something?"
I replied:
- "What? Hein?" thinking that, how would he know if I forgot something.
He said with a sort of a shocked face:
- "Layke Saideh?" (Saideh is a colleague of ours at work)
So this is when I slapped myself silly and was like : "OH SHIT!"

Yep, ladies and gentlemen, I forgot to pick up a whole person, no, I didn't forget my cellphone, or my keychain, or my food, nop I forgot a whole person!

Hurray to my super memory, it needs a medal.

BLEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

p.s. Don't worry, I went back and picked her up.

Should raising a child be licensed?

Think about it, things like driving a car, teaching, fixing cars, etc... need to be licensed or the person is not entitled to apply them. How about raising? Are all human beings good enough to raise children? Is this not the reason behind having psychos and liars and criminals? Isn't it because of their parents?

When did I stop listening?

You know in life, you go through phases. Sometimes you know it all. Sometimes you're asking a lot of questions. Sometimes you're just arguing for the sake of arguing. And sometimes, you argue because you do know more. Sometimes you listen, and you ponder upon what you heard, so you learn. Sometimes, you stop listening and you start talking, and teaching or preaching?!
So it's been some time I haven't done the listening part. And, let's just say, I felt like my IQ is decreasing. I hate how I have to spend most of my time at work. I feel like, even though I do learn and get experience, however I really want to know about other things, and not just programming and databases and technology information!
I want to know why we itch. I want to know how cars work. I want to know how is moodiness related to our body. I want to travel. I want to believe again. I want to be interesting again. I want to help others. I want to make a difference. And I definitely don't want to die. Well, not before a 150 years or so!

I don't get it!

You know those scenes in movies when someone chokes in a restaurant, did you notice how frequently they happen? almost in every movie? However, did it ever happen in front of you in real life?
Hmmm, liars!

Sheep or Sheep or Sheep or Wolf?

There are four categories of individuals in this world. There are those who are of type Sheep A, the second category are Sheep B, the third is Sheep C and the last type is Wolf.

What is the difference between the sheeps A, B and C
Sheep A is in the lowest level of the pyramid. Sheep A actually is a sheep who follows sheeps. In consquence, Sheep A is extremely stupid, does what its told, and think that by following Sheep B, he/she is actually doing something smart. Only because, if he follows no one, he feels bewildered, lost, insecure and vulnerable. He/she cannot make it on its own.
Now Sheep B is of a higher authority than Sheep A, as he is a leader on one hand and a follower on the other hand. He is malicious and evil! He follows because he needs a lot of money in order to preserve a life of pleasure and power over the smaller sheep. He leads, because the higher power cannot directly lead as they will become a direct target.
Sheep C, is the sheep that rebels, says no, thinks, defies, wonders, demands, and speaks. Sheep C unfortunately is also a sheep. Because even though he doesn't follow, he sure as hell doesn't lead as well. So he's back to the sheep category.

Last but not least, it's type Wolf. Wolf is on top of the pyramid. Wolf has a low-profile. Wolf is never ever attainable.

Which category are you?