Blessed.

Thank you...

You against your body

When you control your consciousness, refuse to give up to nervousness and worry. But then your body declares war, and lets subconscious act up and lead the battle. It attacks your sanity and health first. By cutting your sleep in half, your body is bound to deteriorate and your focus to diminish. What can you do as a counter attack? Against your own-self. 

First you negotiate. If it doesn't work. You either surrender in order to move worrying and being nervous to the conscious level, or keep ignoring, until your body utterly fails... and then you fall asleep. Then you win.

Painting: Salvador Dali's "Crucifix"

Sometimes, just find something

You don't always have to try to find your thing so you can go your way. Sometimes, you have to go some way, and you might actually find your thing. 

On your face

You know when you have those thoughts, but don't know how to express them, articulate them and make a straight to the point case? Here's Ashley Judd talking about appearance in response to how the media went coucou over her face being puffier than usual.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/04/09/ashley-judd-slaps-media-in-the-face-for-speculation-over-her-puffy-appearance.html

If God...

Seriously now, if God has any sense ofhumour, he will take me right up to heaven so I make fun of the douchebags sitting there who are boring the hell out of him.

Walk away

Walking away is not always giving up, sometimes it's just moving on.

You could spend all your life trying to do this one thing yet it keeps failing. 

But remember, it takes courage to fight for something, yet wisdom to know when it's not worth it or when it will simply, not change, and you're just wasting your precious time.

Sometimes, just walk away.

Break it

How far would you go in tying your destiny to someone else's?

How strong would you make that chain?

If they're slow

If they stopped

Worse of all, if they're going backwards?

Break it. Break the chain. And walk along the person who walks at the same pace as you.

On stupidity... or Oxygen

I am glad Stupidity doesn't take from Oxygen, or most humans would be on life support by now

On comfort zones

I want to move away from my comfort zone from time to time, I want to shake my legs and notice the chains that surround them.

Some women...

Well, it seems women can do technology... Whoever knew that the female species can actually be smart & successful? 

On a serious note, look at Sheryl Sandberg, an example of a feminine, cute voice have such loud resonance. Hint to some feminists, a woman does not have to act like a man to prove she is better than a man..

Forbes Woman Of The Year: Women In Tech

Opinions vs facts

"Everything is unsettled, everything is argued about, and very few things are ever totally resolved on the Net." David Weinberger 

I've been thinking for a while about the whole amount of information (whether accurate or not) available on the internet. I forgot where I read it, but if we want to read everything that is available online up till today, well it would take us... maybe a century or so. 

Sen. Daniel Patrick Moynihan said famously "Everybody is entitled to his own opinions, but not his own facts,"

It's really nice and awesome that the digital era, is actually the "everyone has an opinion, can express his/her opinion, will be read by few or many, and possibly influence them into action or a different line of thought." But as every important tool, it's a two edged sword. 

 It seems to me that the world is so chaotic—and that we are so limited by our own perspectives—that the most likely way to advance is through the clash of different perspectives, different data sets, different prejudices, different blind spots. 

Even though, clashes, difference of opinions, prejudices, bad news, natural disaster, nuclear threat, politics, terrorism, hunger, poverty, climate change, the variety of educational systems and whatever comes out of all this... even though it's sad, tough, hard to deal with, unfair, and just a bitch sometimes... it's the world, it is what is and if there were no bad things, no good things will exist. Yin yang... 

The only way to think of good things, of scientific advancement, of ways to improve, to help, to think of the other, to become less selfless, to be a hardworker, to be creative, to stretch your mind into as much as you can, to challenge yourself... is driven by the existence of less interesting things, of sad events, of difference of opinions and of hard situations. 

If we were all to live in a comfort zone, no... the world will not be an ideal place, will not be perfect. It will simply disintegrate... to survive, it's going to need the black and the bad.

Yes, we want all people to realize that x is bad, and y is good and z is the right thing to do. But then what? and who says that we're the right ones?

This post is inspired by this article "What is the future of knowledge in the internet age?" on Scientific American. About a project:

"an attempt to build a computer model of all the social, economic, ecological and scientific factors at play in the world"

Too many factors, too much complexity, how much can you trust a machine that is based on our own knowledge, erroneous one might I add. 

82nd birthday - 21/12/1929

Yesterday, I felt very blessed with the family and friends I am surrounded with. I know I sound high and not like myself. But when you are surrounded by awesome and kind people, you cannot but feel the same as well.

I want to keep this under one place. My brother Pascal Assaf dedicated this poem to me (yes it made me cry)

كنت في العاشرة من عمري، عندما جاءني ملاك في المنام، 

وهمس: "غداً تكبر ويكون الشعر قدرك". 

في الصباح أيقظتني أمي بابتسامة،

وقالت: "هذه أختك الصغيرة"

وكانت أول قصيدة أعشقها.

كل عام وأنت أجمل الأشعار.

Then my brother Roger, wrote this:

Ummmm..
I know I can't write a better poem, not even a sequel 
But in the end of the day, u know that our love 2 u is definatly equal :)

Then my mom Marianne wrote this:

في عيد الميلاد تزين الشوارع والمنازل بأحلى زينة وأنت يا ابنتي زينتي حياتي عند ولادتك! كل عام وانتي بألف خير

And that is not all, my dad Nafez (different time zone since he lives in the US), wrote this in reply to my reply that my brother's poem made me cry:

بكائك يا حبيبة العمر أفرحنى و ريحنى فى غربتى فقد تاكدت انه لى ثلاثة اولاد بقلب واحد الله يخليكن لبعض و عقبال مية سنه و مية قصيده

My family is just amazing, isn't it? I am so blessed. This year was very different, I usually don't like to make a fuss out of my birthday, since after all, everyone on earth is born... what makes it so special? But still, to see all those people happy that I was born 31 years ago, is quite overwhelming in a good way. My friends dedicated crazy videos and wrote touching messages to me, making me smile and laugh and go O.o sometimes. Some practical gifts (yes, I always need a Pajama, I do :D) and the toilet seat O.o :P And of course ... of course... (the picture you see above)

Blessed I tell ya, blessed!

Inspired to say:

You told me to get all my personalities together. I did and we all agreed you're a moron.

...

When the problem is in their mind, there really isn't much you can do except take a step back, turn 180 degrees and walk away. Can you reason with No-Reason? Image already formed, judgment already stamped, hatred already established. Walk away...

Critical Mind

Having a critical mind is one thing, and a thing to respect. Nevertheless, having a mind where you just criticize everything even when it's illogical, or based on an incorrect hypothesis, or inserting wrong values in variables is plain annoying.

I traveled, I observed and when I wasn't noticing, I learned.

"A candle that burns twice as bright, only burns half as long."

I saw this comment on Steve Jobs' Stanford Commencement Speech youtube video. And it struck a chord in me. I immediately remembered my late best friend. She died from Cancer too. She was only 19. Difference is, she did not have a chance to live, to do things. And I know for a fact, if she was still around, she would have.

It might be a selfish thing to say, but her death reminds me not to nag, not to take life for granted and not to act like a victim. In fact, it's not her death that reminds me of that... In fact, a couple of months ago, I saw her in my dreams, and she specifically made me understand that whatever problems I encounter, whatever dilemmas I face, whatever obstacles stand in my way and whatever negativity is headed towards me, at least.... AT LEAST, I am still around and still have the chance to deal with them. I have a choice.

Vatican - Rome - 26 September 2011 by yours truly (check red sentence below)

Cancer sucks... Cancer took my best friend away, who 12 years later, still means a lot to me. Even though we were only close for 2 years. So can you imagine what an impact she had on her mother? father? siblings? family? She was an extraordinary girl. Najla. I love you, I always will. Luckily we have the same destination, so I will be seeing you... 40-50 years later :) If you don't mind waiting.

Cancer took many other people who are dear to many people & friends I have. And I can see the same face that says the same thing: "There was nothing we can do!" But, there is something we can do, for us, for the people who are still around, I reckon.

Before I went on my vacation, I was repeatedly asked: "Are you excited?" My answer was the same, repeatedly: "3ade" (Normal). And of course, I would be criticized for that attitude. But let me tell you why it's the perfect attitude. It's because I learned that whatever you expect, you get a different experience. And that experience, could be better or worse, nonetheless it is different, and because of it being so, you get to learn something new, feel something new, be put out of your comfort zone, or maybe be returned to a new better comfort zone. I expected nothing, and I got more.

I learned several things...

• I learned that you don't search for a good time, instead, it finds you. 
• I learned that strangers, turning close friends, make your life rich.
• I learned that if we want, we can make a change.
• I learned that a moment of peace cannot be "pretended".
• I learned that 1 minute of peace is enough to make a vacation worth while.
• I learned that the world is so weird, for having people like "Gaudi" exist, and at the same time people who waste all their free time playing PS3.
• I learned that I will not put off seeing a doctor for my knees, because I (and am not exaggerating) could stop walking in 10 years if things remain getting worse on the same pace as they are now.
• I learned that my family means a lot to me.
• I learned that I love my country dearly.
• I learned that there are certain people I wished who were with me on that vacation and that they matter more than I thought they did.
• I learned that I love getting people souvenirs & gifts, well... only for those who matter.
• I learned that there are many inspiring things in life, and that I want everyone I know to be as inspired as I was during the past two weeks.
• I learned that you can go to a camp of "inspiration" for that matter, but instead just get inspired by a random person you meet while you're going to or coming back from that camp. Nonetheless... it is because of this camp.
• I learned that being close to a Dali original painting... made me cry. It's quite magical to be so close in space to something a genius has touched decades ago. I traveled back in time. It exists.
• I learned that the internet speed has improved at home, and even though it's not a 24mbps like other countries, it is still an improvement, and we should brace it. Cut the negativity a bit.
• I learned that when things are in bullet points, people read them all. Okay I knew that from before!
• Post Updated: I learned that coincidence doesn't exist. Good things can come out while having a lousy dessert at a cafe we did not like much. The outcome? You're looking at it.

So... for someone who had no expectations from a 2 weeks vacation, I think I did well.

I learned that there are friends I love and missed, and I will make sure I tell it to their faces and give them my Ozzi signature hug.

Barely a creature

Having 2 balls does not make you a man. Having a herd of sheep behind you does not make you a leader.

Dream Small

Dali used to paint his sister Anna Maria a lot, most of the time from the back. The one here is her looking out from the window at Figueres, where he grew up. And in 3 weeks, I will be there God willing. And maybe I will get to stop for a second, and be Dali at Figueres. Just had goosebumps writing this.

I dream small, but those dreams make me really happy. Hasta pronto Catalonia :D

Sa ni ty

You know when you lots to say, you don't know where to start or worse, where to stop. Because you know at the end of the day you will run into your friends and you will get the: "Yeah, we saw your post today!"

Oh wow, glad to feel like you know everything about me, inside out...

Therefore, I will make this short. Don't take sanity for granted, and don't let anyone take it from you. Because if they're succeeding, it means they should not be in your life in the first place.

Enjoy your day.

Under a black volcanic glass kinda rock

I finally saw The Shawshank Redemption. The top 1 movie on IMDB.com. I am not going to tell you the plot, you can IMDB it, I won't even link you! You can/should do this yourself. But all I can say it is definitely one of those movies that make you smile even with the many recurrent dark moments. It helps you see the persistence of one man and the hope he had.

But it's just a movie, right? So it makes you think about reality, and whether there are persons like that, who are good, patient and never give up. It makes me also think about the amount of people who are very weak and who seek constant approval and flattery from their surrounding.

Why try hard to get people to rate you, why not just do your own thing, be good at it and the bonus would be being remembered for it. 

There are people in this life who only feel better when they put other people down, these people are bullies, weak and sad pathetic little things. Why stoop to their level?

Sometimes as hurtful as things may be for you, as painful, as horrific and demeaning as they can be. If you choose to get over it, move on and go to the pacific, where there is no memory, you will be good again, you will feel alright, and at a new start.

I like this movie, I might be high here... maybe I am, and maybe it's because of this movie.

Simple pleasures of life, watching a good movie. A movie that was acted by strangers, written by strangers, directed by strangers, sold by strangers, and played on a machine invented and built by strangers, to come and arrive to your proximity, so you could feel good.

Life has become so easy, and yet we bitch about things. 

In case you're too lazy to google it, here's the link to the movie.