It's all in the brains. After all, what do we have that makes up our mind and our point of views, our opinions and our perception of things but our brains. You can love a person indefinitely, endlessly and with so much passion, and another day you can simply look at them like they are total strangers, like they are obstacles and holding you back from where you want to go and who you want to be. Be it a friend, a lover, a brother...
Sometimes I wonder about those people who are in denial, are they really in denial or did they simply program their brains to perceive something in a way that will make them feel okay about their life and their surroundings, that's a defense mechanism alright, but why do some people consider it so wrong? Now I understand, if you're in denial but you are sad, then you haven't really succeeded in convincing yourself about acceptance. However, when you're in denial and happy, are you really in denial?
How do we know that happiness is a real thing and it's nothing something you simply look at differently. How many times do people advise you to just "be happy". What does that mean really? Do conditions change? Do you get happy and then change the conditions around you? Do you accept conditions the way they are and decide to just "be happy"? How do you know you're not lying to yourself and we are not all lying to ourselves all the time 24/7 just to pass this life.
How do you know you are really in love, that you really like drinking, that you really like partying, that you really like coffee, that you really like reading a book? Do you read a book to escape real life? Do you read a book to get better at something so you feel better about yourself so you become more confident when with others? Why do we have to be very good at things to feel self-confident around others.
If you're not doing what you love, love what you do. Life is overrated. Love is overrated. Everything in this life is overrated. My flaw is that I believe, and I expect too much. After 30 years on this planet, I can say I will stop believing, and I will stop expecting. The only thing I want to do is have a good time, on the expense of anyone.
That was a moment I was truly happy, since then I take the same style of photo but I can never reproduce that moment. I have discussed and asked so many times on this blog, what is happiness and if it can be attained alone. I want to convince myself, that yes it can. And I don't care about sharing it. I mean, I can always share it on this blog, with the people who have become my friends, and that is good enough for me.
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Take a break for something like 2 weeks, go away where there is no one else other than you, clean yourself from every temptation reject everything, when you feel tranquility and peace inside you and you are aware that all those tags that were related to your survival instinct vanish you are happy by default ;) . So when you come back every thing else that makes you happy is a plus and addition to your default state not "the one" that makes you happy.
ReplyDeleteYes everything is over rated so why fool yourself that something unrealistic will happen and will make you happy.
Untag your spirit make it fly between contexts set it free :)
Hope this helps ;)
A very interesting way to put things about life in general, yours in specific and out of many experiences I myself got some few conclusive points of how to define happiness,I will list them to you here under, you might agree on you might not, but you will probably benefit to draw your own conclusions from them
ReplyDelete-Know the facts and accept them
-Think a bit to improve yourself not to question yourself
-Self confidence is in the inner peace and what you prove, you prove to yourself first, cos if you don't care about you, no one will.
-Be independent from all that surrounds you,
-Write your values and live by them
-Listen to others when they speak to you (listen and consider)
-Quit talking about who you are, what you have been through, what you want to be and where you want to be, start working on realizing all those and choose the right people to help you with it.
-You find a pleasure in everything you do, otherwise don't do it.
-Believe that you are a part of a bigger plan, no matter how tiny your role is.
-Believe that sharing is caring, but over-sharing is over-caring (makes people run away)
When i sit and think a bit more about all the things that occurred in my life, I see that everything is meant to be that way, that every open door opens a new opportunity and every closed door leads to a new direction.
We are here to live a life that is our own, how we live it is up to us to decide, what we add or remove from it is up to us to choose, we don't control but ourselves, so let us direct this control to a better life for our selves.
AND WE CAN DO IT!
WE JUST HAVE TO ACCEPT THE FACT THAT WE CAN BE HAPPY EVEN IF OUR ENTOURAGE IS NOT!
IT IS OUR HAPPINESS THAT WILL MAKE THEM HAPPY, TRUST ME!
IT IS OUR HAPPINESS THAT WILL MAKE THEM HAPPY, TRUST ME! Or it might not be true, anyhow it is the life that they chose.
ReplyDeleteI say happiness is not looking for happiness. Just "being". When you "be" in the present you can't but be happy. If when "being" there happens to be someone around, good for you and good for them, if not, then good for you only :)
ReplyDeleteHappiness is like a butterfly;
ReplyDeletethe more you chase it,
the more it will elude you,
but if you turn your attention to other things,
it will come and sit softly on your shoulder... (Thoreau)
It is time to tie the knot Liliane. You are getting old sweety.
ReplyDeleteVery interesting topic and article.
ReplyDeleteI'd agree with the above comment: u need to set urself free from all expectations and temptations.
I went thru a lot and it took a long deal of time for me to realise that for me to be happy I have to;
1. Learn to enjoy my own company. And that's why I read a book, or take a walk or go to the movies. My biggest chalenge was to walk in to a restaurant at rush hour take a seat all by myself and enjoy a full course meal. Sometimes u need to do it over and over - but when you're there it's one of the greatest feelings. Makes u love yourself more.
2. Free yourself from all destructive criticism. Act upon the constructive one. People tend to be destructive, do not get affected by that.
3. The brighter side of things isn't what people want or expect. It is the lesson you choose to learn from any incident. Learn it, apply it and live by it.
4. Let go of all tempations and expectations. I acquired this by trial and error. Consequences weren't always good. But it was fun and very educational.
There are a lot of points I would like to share - but I know for a fact that when it comes to finding your own happiness the only writer of these points should be yourself. And the feeling is great.
Best of luck - and thanks for sharing
Haj tni2eh w 3mileh shi.
ReplyDeletethanks for your comments, most of the comments were really nice to read, i loved the point of views, and some of them really got into my head :) and will I did decide to look at many things differently and try another approach
ReplyDeleteas for the anonymous who wants me to get married <-- LOL you really made me laugh
and the anonymous who said am nagging, you obviously donno me :) and donno whether i am doing something about it or not, moreover, I really don't know how you saw this as nagging :)