Coco suggested that I write about happiness instead of fears. I know that she thought I was depressed or bothered when I wrote about my fears, but I really wasn't. I felt like, once you admit what you're afraid of, you can at least challenge it or realise it and maybe get over it.
As for happines, here's a mind breaker, I don't think it exists in general. We have been brought up to think that money does not bring happiness. However, I have lived all my life in the middle class (in a very struggling middle class, not the rich middle class), and the only thing that I can say is, Money does not NOT bring happiness, because I wouldn't know. For many, happiness is the lack of sadness, and maybe its the same with me.
You see life is nothing but a series of moments, and if you're happy this moment, then you're happy all your life.
Like when I was a kid, I used to tell myself, why is holding your breath that hard, every second just say I want to hold it for another second? But of course, it's not that simple, and being happy is not that simple either.
In my opinion, people lie to themselves all the time, they live in denial and suppressed memories. But not to sound so gloomy, I do experience happy moments in my life. Which ones? well here's a list:
(wow writing a happy list is much harder than the fears list... wait I still didn't give up)
(a minute passed and still nothing)
1- Having a great conversation with someone (no one in specific, just anyone, a friend, a relative, a stranger, a colleague), like a deep conversation
2- Learning about something after knowing about for so long but never knowing how it works
3- Helping someone without knowing (but of course learning about it after some time)
4- Realising each day that maybe we do have a lot of family problems, but as long as they are all alive and healthy, I am happy
5- Seeing my nephew after some time, and now another nephew was born 2 weeks ago, so double happiness
6- How some friends sometimes do the nicest small things just to show support and agreement
7- How some friends understand you when you go cou-cou
8- Receiving a gift without expecting it, even if it's a useless gift, but you know, those gifts which show that someone was thinking about you at some point
9- Eating something delicious after craving it for some time
Wow, I did it :), thanks coco. There is a lot of stuff out there you can be happy about, you just need to know what to focus on more I guess.
My first optimistic post. Injez.