Monday, February 23, 2009

Just babbling... (probably a title used before)

I haven't written in a long time. I mean written, and not typed. Well maybe it's for the better, as I think too fast and my hand can't keep up. I end up making a lot of grammatical and vocabulary mistakes, luckily hidden by my lousy handwriting.

Becoming someone
I remember once I told someone, a virtual nickname back then, remember my name you will hear of it again in the future. I thought I'll be someone. Funny thing is.. I did become someone, didn't everyone? I always had a shaky definition for success. Is it money? Is it high degrees? Is it social rank? Is it a position at work?

My nephew
I love looking at my nephew. I love the fact that I described what his personality is going to be when he was still 5 or 6 months old. And now when he's a 18 months old everyone is coming to agree with me. I also said he's gonna be very tall, he was still a day old. And yes.. he is taller than his age.

I wonder about having a kid of my own one day. Big tummy. Me? Wow. An idea so far from happening, I smile when I think of myself as a mother. I like mothers who fully understand what being a mother is. Sometimes I feel sad for the reason that some women believe it is not something of a big deal and a billion other women has gone through it before. This is the impression I get. But no. Enjoy every moment. It is a beautiful thing. It is. Don't let anyone convince you in taking it for granted.

*sigh* I want to be as honest as I can on this stupid blog. I always write something and then I backspace it. Most readers know me in real and I don't trust people in general. Don't be offended. It's just people don't know any better sometimes, they think they're doing you good and then they end up ruining things. No one wants to hurt me that's for sure. 'Coz I have a tazer gun and I'll taze their ass with it if they do.

Existential question
Why the fuck do I blog? Why am I blogger? How did I become one?... I know I know. It's like a bloggy contract, something I get back to and say to myself, this is how you used to think and this is how you looked at things.

Ok you can wake up now and close this window, or tab ...


  1. Lilzi,

    I understand you about the blogging thing... And because I get so personal on my blog, I prefer to keep my identity as anonymous as possible. Otherwise, there are so many things one ends up backspacing or deleting... and that could be quite frustrating.

  2. one of the biggest mistakes I have ever done online is revealing my identity on my blog..!

  3. do i know you ?? no ? then let's keep it this way ;)

    btw babbling is nice...just like sleep-talking :D

  4. Someone once asked me what blogging was and I replied that it's like writing in one's personal diary except that it's out there for all (strangers) to read. So what? At least one writes and takes it off his/her chest, no?

    About having a baby, it is a wonderful thing, in fact, the best gift God gave us women. And about that belly, I couldn't imagine it until I saw it on me. No matter how ugly you think you look, that belly is so beautiful once it's sticking out carrying life.

    Allah ykhallilik your nephew and may you become a mother of lots of boys and girls like him :)

  5. Coco, nshalla you have a safe delivery.

    Rami.. inta eh you even have your lastname out there! seriously poor you lol

    Posh ahhhhhh :P so that's why you've ignored my invitation to go for a drink sometime!

    ArchAngelus, ekhir wa7ad 7ki inta :P

  6. Liliane,

    as much as I hate myself for it and I know I am missing out on meeting a great person and probably developing a great friendship, but yes... Not just you, but several other bloggers whom I really admire.

    My biggest fears here is my identity being revealed - like I said, for the sole reason that I am VERY personal on my blog that the one thing left would be for me to replace posh lemon with my real name lol.

  7. good... self critique and questioning are always needed.

    you blog therefore you are!

    as to the identity.. everybody likes to remain anonymous, it is more mysterious and powerful that way, but with facebook on the scene... pfff good luck!