I haven't written in a long time. I mean written, and not typed. Well maybe it's for the better, as I think too fast and my hand can't keep up. I end up making a lot of grammatical and vocabulary mistakes, luckily hidden by my lousy handwriting.
I remember once I told someone, a virtual nickname back then, remember my name you will hear of it again in the future. I thought I'll be someone. Funny thing is.. I did become someone, didn't everyone? I always had a shaky definition for success. Is it money? Is it high degrees? Is it social rank? Is it a position at work?
I love looking at my nephew. I love the fact that I described what his personality is going to be when he was still 5 or 6 months old. And now when he's a 18 months old everyone is coming to agree with me. I also said he's gonna be very tall, he was still a day old. And yes.. he is taller than his age.
I wonder about having a kid of my own one day. Big tummy. Me? Wow. An idea so far from happening, I smile when I think of myself as a mother. I like mothers who fully understand what being a mother is. Sometimes I feel sad for the reason that some women believe it is not something of a big deal and a billion other women has gone through it before. This is the impression I get. But no. Enjoy every moment. It is a beautiful thing. It is. Don't let anyone convince you in taking it for granted.
*sigh* I want to be as honest as I can on this stupid blog. I always write something and then I backspace it. Most readers know me in real and I don't trust people in general. Don't be offended. It's just people don't know any better sometimes, they think they're doing you good and then they end up ruining things. No one wants to hurt me that's for sure. 'Coz I have a tazer gun and I'll taze their ass with it if they do.
Why the fuck do I blog? Why am I blogger? How did I become one?... I know I know. It's like a bloggy contract, something I get back to and say to myself, this is how you used to think and this is how you looked at things.
Ok you can wake up now and close this window, or tab ...