Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Lebanese Lie and Men don't listen

Lebanese Lie #3 (you can read 1 and 2 here)

So you're invited somewhere, courtesy is you "bring something in your hands", this is the literal translation of the Lebanese expression, which is you take some sweets with your or a gift for the house. When you get there, you give them the gift or the sweet you brought them, and the host tells you: "Oh lashou m3azbe? walaw! el beit baytik!" (which means, why did you go through the trouble of bringing something! come on, this is your house! Tu casa es mi casa!)

However, dare you not bring something in your hands when you pay someone a visit in their house, or else you will get the "ma 3inda savoir vivre, bala zo2, ma bta3rif bil ousoul!" (meaning, she lacks courtesy and social know-how)

Men's oblivious outlook

Many times you hear men say: "why can't a woman just tell us what she wants". I will make it short and straight to the point. 
1- because the woman would like to think that her man can think of ways to surprise her and to actually do an effort of doing something for her, doesn't have to be something fancy, just a new place (or an old one that brings memories), nice decor, good food, just you and her. 
2- and that is why she gives the man hints, but for some supreme out of space reason which I can't understand, men don't hear it. So really, focus a bit, she's telling you in a subtle but obvious way (doesn't take a smartpants to notice it) what she feels like doing and where.

So stop the crap that women don't tell you what they want. Just listen.

Disclaimer: Not talking about my boyfriend here, just men in general!


  1. Here's a small story:

    a few yrs ago I was with someone, and during that period there was a concert that I really wanted to attend, so I told her to mark her calendar for that concert 1 month earlier, so she did, and I kept reminding her every week of that concert and she said she really wanted to go... Until the day of the concert, I called her up, and was asking her if she will meet me there or if I should go pick her up, she told me she doesn't want to go cz she's so tired & she wanted to see her parents cz they just came to Beirut...
    I said "ok, as u wish"...
    The next day, hell's gates broke loose, she got so upset at me for not "insisting" on her to go with me to concert... I was like WTF!

    How is this my fault?

  2. Lil
    Men aren't women, want something ? you tell us, hints only work on other women. End of Story!
    you want a boyfriend that takes hint? date a woman, slap fake moustaches on her and a fake... and you get what you want.

  3. Men can be romantic or thoughtful but choose not to be, that's right you heard we choose nit to be. Ok I know how to impress my girl, sweep her off her feet, make her feel special, do unique things and make her smile. However in the process of doing these, I feel it is really cheesy and don't feel comfortable, do therefore I don't do it. That's why men don't do all those things women love!

  4. A word from personal experience:

    One needs to train their man to listen to take hints:) it is ridiculous , i know. I have been blessed by the fact that my prince charming was my friend first and so he has heard one too many of "my men are stupid and selfish life suckers" rants" and still, there was a lot of work to be done... even when you reach the stage when he gets you what you hinted at, you feel like : "where's my surprise?"...

    Why are men wired that way? In relationships they are less materialistic, (weird I know) and they do not really need gifts or romantic getaways themselves (even though they enjoy them non-the-less). so this is a good way to 'train' men: do something nice for them and then tell them it's their turn to go out their way :) You 'll get some bumps, but it will work @ the end.

    On another note, men who already know, already understand, exist... but unfortunately men of these are just manipulators , who have studied women's psychology to get what they want.

  5. I agree with Darine!! She said it all :)

  6. Bilal, from what you said, it doesn't appear as your fault. Now I donno you or her that much to judge whether not insisting or insisting is something you do usually. were you a couple back then? Maybe she was PMSing!

    Kodder, you got my answer on twitter, w akid ana wiyek we never reach middle ground

    Shine Nour, well why not? if you know what she wants why don't do it (occasionally of course not always), that would make her happy, and when she's happy, she makes you happy in return :D

    IdentityChef, hehe funny mentionning of the manipulators, aka players, however you know, I would hate to call it training :P is there another smoother word?

  7. Lilo,

    this is bullshit.. i have to agree with the boys on that one... you want something... express yourself.. that's it...

    you want to be considered independent, strong and equal? you can talk whenever you need to... so use words to get what you want, and not sighs and eye-rolls.

    this is not particular to men or women... men sometimes give "hints" to women, and hell breaks loose also if women don't get those hints... it has all to do with the character of the person... i don't believe that it has to do with the sex (men vs. women)

    my advice again, is to voice your opinion clearly, and then judge the other person.

  8. _z

    no this is not bullshit, let me tell you why, I am not talking about when a woman rolls her eyes and says oh I feel like having fun and then leaving a whole world of possibilities to choose from for the guy. Bass kamen, every time the woman feels like there should be a romantic getaway be it a vacation or an outing to a restaurant, she has to tell the guy what and where and wait for him to reserve? laken khalas she might as well do all the reservations and put the pants in the relationship. Plus akid, it's nice when the woman does something for the guy for something he's been hinting for. This ain't exclusive to one gender. Bass 7elwe min wa2et la wa2et ykoun fi a romantic gesture.

    _z am sure you're a great guy and I know it from all the cute things you do for your wife, and do you honestly want me to believe that she told you to do these cute these for her? You did them on your own! w heh :P fada7tak ;)

  9. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Sorry to admit but that's a FACT. So even with all the training in the world, men will still miss the hints, and women will never be straight...

  10. Lilo
    So basically making a plan yourself is considered the man's role? what's wrong with making reservation yourself and take him if you want to go out to a certain place or a vacation instead of giving "hints" and be frustrated that he doesn't get it?
    I thought we live in the 21st century, not 15th century where a woman can't do anything unless the man does it...
    Gender roles are sooo old...

  11. Haha, good stuff :)

    I'm going to disagree with most of the guys here.

    But I will also disagree with you. What a girl hints at wanting and what she actually wants can be two completely different things.

  12. m. true I agree there!

    Kodder, who says a woman doesn't make reservations? bass inno its not to do the initiative from time to time, or the girl will end up getting bored.

    Thousand Reds lol typical i guess

    Am interested in knowing who voted "boring" for this post, I know kodder voted once! ma heik?

  13. Maybe women should consider blogging about what they want ;)

  14. Serpico, ha-ha :P

    (word verification is "COMEDA") lol