Loreena McKennit in Byblos

I think this is going to be one of the best summers for me. I mean Coldplay, Madeleine Peyroux and Loreena McKennitt in 1 summer? What's next? Tori Amos? Norah Jones? Nightwish? Ozzy Osbourne? Dr. Nina Simone coming out of the grave and playing?

Click on the picture to check Byblos Festival website for more shows and dates and details!

Twins with different dads... Seriously?

Following Delirious' series of "Seriously" posts, a woman gave birth to twin boys who had different dads, technically it is feasible, but what are the chances?

If you're concerned, they're a happy family now.

Check the article here.

Mia Washington's ovary released two eggs in the same month, which were fertilized by the sperm of two different men that she had sex with within days of each other.

Coldplay... akh

I just got back from a Coldplay concert, mainly songs from their newest album Life in technicolor, and some old great songs, and while I was there I wished I had a lot of money so I can bring them to Lebanon so every fan in Lebanon can get to feel this much happiness and bliss as I did tonight. Music is indeed some grand and Chris Martin / Coldplay know how to give an amazing show! Viva la vida indeed!

We did a mexican wave but with cellphones! Now that's funny!

p.s. Chris Martin is hilarious, he made us laugh on several occasion, and he can improvise while singing :D iyyey

Madeleine Peyroux at Beiteddine

Woohoo, I got chills today when I heard about it on the radio, couldn't
believe my ears!

Check it out here www.beiteddine.org.

And they think they're the smart ones

I officially declare not being able to live without the internet. My
hell would be a computer with no internet. I mean if there was no
computer, it would be easier, but if there is, it's like, you have a
horse with no legs, or a Ferrari with no engine, or a hamburger with
no meat...

Notes to self:
1- Never ever take a stun-gun to a high-security building.. because
that will give security guys to start acting cute with you. But it's
fine, I love it much men are gullible, what I do is just act silly, a
bit naive and innocent, and they let me by without creating much
trouble. If it was a man in my place.. 7aram 3anjad.

2- Don't start thinking you got something way ahead, way way ahead...
Because you might fall right there on your face. Keep your legs on the
ground

FD stands for...

I can't believe I still get scared of traveling by plane. Scary.

Think positive:
1- I will see Coldplay live in 12 days
2- I will go see some big Aquarium
3- I might go to New Jersey and New York City
4- I will see Dad after 3 years
5- I might get to drive a truck
6- I will buy a lot and a lot of clothes
7- I might catch the swine flu.. oh wait this goes under thinking negative!
8- I might come back and see another change happen in my life... no am
not getting married.

One of my dreams is to direct and orient youth into finding out what
they really want to do in life, and the ironic thing is I still don't
know what I should have done with mine. I've told two persons what's
possible for them to do and they listened, and they're both abroad and
they say they're happy. That's not enough criteria.

I think it's PD again... (Paranoid day). I once started to log my type
of days, I go through PD, DD (depressing), SD (suicidal), AD (angry),
CD (crazy), GD (genius, looking everything up, reading 10 words per
second), ND (nagging.. maybe it should be NDs lol), HD (happy), TD
(talkative), BD (blogging)...

I think today is a combination of many Ds.. I know I will look at that
post again and say, how come people listen to me when I talk? Unless
they're listening to me on GD...

... I think am just scared.

Why why whyyy?

I can't focus on work. Everytime I feel there is a change near by in
my life, I start to lose my concentration abilities which are not that
good by the way (I am growing old)...

What to do what to do, with no concentration, I cannot write functions
and procedures and queries...

p.s. If we outsource, what will I work then? Eh?

I am myself dot bleh

I am myself dot me, was a huge campaign for the past month, hedonist, pacifist, nighthawk or something like that, and many other adjectifs, at first we thought it was simply a campaign for people not to copy each other and be copycats.

 

Then I thought it's a clothing shop, which is still okay to have such a campaign.

 

But it to be a mall, "Le Mall" (replacing old habtoor mall). Le Mall is a mall that has all the exact shops (Zara, Vero Moda, Stradivarious, Mango, Massimo Dutti, Pull & Bear, etc...) that every other mall has, or kaslik souk or...? How does that define a person buying from these shops that exist all over Lebanon as becoming a "distinctive" and "distinguished" and "unique" person?

 

So I would like to consider this campaign as a BLEH campaign.

I woke up today thinking about this, so I might as well post about it. I remember watching a show about a person, who was a girl, and changed her gender to become a guy. The show is about helping this "new" guy look at the world as a man, and one of the things they took him to was a self-defense class. Anyway, the whole point I am trying to get to is the fact that if a person attacks you, the first thing you have to say and say out loud is NO. Because when you say that, you get to break the shock you might fall into.

And another thing I remember reading in an email, it was about men attacking women to try and rape them, in summary they said attackers are cowards, if the woman puts up a fight, kicks and hits, screams, he will give up soon and leave.

So here are two things for women out there if you ever felt in danger and when the attacker is close, say NO, and hit. And the best thing would be to learn a couple of self-defense moves. Scream

Time has changed indeed

Mobile Music is so much easier these days!

Google Morse

dit dit dit dat dit dit/dit dit/dat dit dat/dit

As a girl guide for 13 years, I enjoyed google giving hommage to Samuel Morse...

Right there on the curve

While driving back from work, right there on the curve of the road, I saw a guy very jumpy and moving rapidly in a car driving towards me, I thought they must be guys probably enthusiastic about something. And suddenly I made out what his movements were, I looked at the person sitting on his side, and found a woman trying to be as far away as she can from him, clinging to the door as much as she can, and her arm placed in front of her face... defensive position.

And then as my car got closer to theirs, there he was at it again, he held his arm up high too fast and hit the air beside him, because she was as far as she can be, and he wasn't able to focus on hitting her and driving on a hard left. I know he saw me looking, the dude with the glasses, ugly as a monkey butt.

I slowed down, I was shocked, I saw from the bits of her face that was hidden by her arm how scared she was, how much of an animal he is. I didn't know if there was anything I can do, but seconds later, they were gone. Out of my life. I was going back home to get ready for going out, and she... she was living one of her worst moments in life.

I always wonder, will I be able to make out if a man is abusive? How can you know if your friend, boyfriend, colleague.. is abusive?

Some stuff I have to say!

1- I haven't had a migraine since more than a month (knock on wood)

2- 2 nights ago, while driving back home around 11pm, I had light fm
on and they put that old song and I was like "NO WAY"... it was East
17's song "Thunder"! And I started singing, more like screaming! What?
I was like 13 when that song came out :)

3- Relationships! It is just so amazing listening to people tell me
about their significant other, how much they love that person, but how
much that person is making things so hard on them. It is so damn
difficult to get along with your ownself and make up your mind about
something, how about making life-decisions with another person? I look
at relationships with awe, and at how people interpret things, their
different point of views, their different ways of solving things, or
making things worse or...

4- I want to sky dive

5- I no longer want to envy other people, I want to thank God again
for all the fortunes I have. I know I nag a bit, but that's just me
thinking outloud trying to find a solution.

6- I dodged an accident last week, was gonna hit a car in front of me,
that had stopped because 3 cars bumped into each other.

Okay enough for today. I've been blogging mucho mucho lately! Khalas bi kaffe.

Respect

We have been raised and told since we were little kids to respect older persons, to respect teachers, to respect the elderly, to respect disabled persons.

Well what if that person is just a nasty person, a nasty old man. Should you respect them still? Wouldn't you be a hypocrite for pretending while inside all you hold for that person is disrespect?

I will never forget my Arabic literature teacher back in high school, who used to tell us not to ever disrespect another person, because when we do, we're actually disrespecting ourselves. And for me this rule was enough to abide by all my life even though it was extremely hard to apply non-theoretically.

However yesterday, he said: "people should earn respect, and if a person offends me or does something that I do not respect or approve, yes I remain civil with them but they lose my respect immediately, be it older or younger than me".

As I prepared myself to answer back, I opened my mouth but no words came out, I couldn't disagree or argue with him, I suddenly realized that he's right.

Perhaps it took me 28 years to realize the difference between respecting and being civil.

Staying slim is good for health and for the environment

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8004257.stm

Well if it's also a good thing for the environment, then I will take
my diet more seriously now.

Earth Day, April 22

Needless to explain what Earth Day is, but in a nutshell it started in 1970, this day is dedicated to remember what Earth is giving us, appreciate it, and think about what we should give back.

Read more here about how you can participate in a way or another, at work, at school, at home..

I miss writing in Arabic

I used to write in Arabic. Actually this is how it all started. When I first got into university, you know, rebel, politics, life, freedom, new things, Lebanese University and its problem, teenagers going on adults, majors in Lebanon...

I started writing and writing in Arabic. It's the best thing to write when you are driven by something. I used to read a lot of political books. The first was "7oub wa mawt fi Bayrout" it was for a foreign journalist who said was Bachir Gemayel's mistress.

I tried to write for a student newspaper, I gave my article to a friend so he can give it to them so they would publish it, the article was about the disorientation students receive before picking their major that will define their career, the choices they have, and the lack of opportunities, etc... It was a long article. Anyway the article never really got there, but once, I was checking a monthly edition and I found a small piece of text written by that friend that was about the same issue as my article's.

So anyway, let me show you a poem I wrote almost a decade ago. It's in Arabic.


And in order for me to go back to writing in Arabic, I need to read books written in Arabic again. I have become dumb in Arabic, it's a shame.

We're supposed to be off DUDE!

What sucks is everyone I know has the day off today, well, because
it's a holiday. It's Easter Monday Mr. Sanyoura! Yes I know, everyone
is back to considering it as an official holiday, but not where I
work.

So it's sunny outside, with a perfect temperature, most of my friends
are out lunching somewhere in Bekaa or the North... and my colleagues
and I are here working.

This Thucks!

Saw this billboard today

Cute eh? What do you think?

Fast & Furious in Geant's parking

After watching the movie Fast & Furious 4, we went back to the parking to leave. I personally accomplished one of my dreams and it's sitting in the supermarket chariot, and going for a ride :P but then we heard some "toshfit", some wheels sqweeking on the parking floor, and not by one car, but by many. Apparently the fellow Lebanese young men were very influenced by the movie... Points I would like to talk about are:

1- The movie was not that good
2- The Lebanese people, especially the young are very susceptible.
3- They had sucky cars for that deed anyway

Google 3a lebneneh

I'm sure most Lebanese residents have noticed that when they type google.com they get google.com.lb, nothing new there, but what amazed me and I only saw this today, is that the Google Loubnan, has options to browse the Lebanese google in 4 languages :)

Google.com.lb offered in: العربية Français հայերեն And English of course

People, how cool is that? (3rd language in case you couldn't read it, is in Armenian) It says "hayeren" I think... should be :P

Coldplay in Lebanon August 2009

I am guessing it's going to be between 9 and 16 August, coming from the US to Lebanon then to Europe. I wasn't so happy because I already bought tickets to see them in Virginia in May! I had changed my training date at work, my plane ticket, kharbatet kil shi to see them, and now they're coming to Lebanon :P It's fine, twice is better than once ey!

Wel3aneh bi Lebnen! Once again, let us all join in prayers that no war would happen this summer.

That's that's that's all folks!

Writing and blogging

Some people are very transparent. Well from those people we can select
the bloggers as transparent folks. But not necessarily. A person who
jokes and is never serious might turn out to be an extremenly deep
person, and a reflexive person to be just plain vain.

People blog for so various reasons. Some are technical blogs, and thus
sharing experience and found solutions. And some blog to report, and
others to vent, and others to nag, and others to document, and others
to get attention and others to express their points of view of things.
Why? In hope to find other bloggers who might agree.

Why don't they express their points of view in real? among real
people? Well, merely because we are not always surrounded by the
brightest people, or maybe simply because we do not want to show our
complete true self to... colleagues who might judge, therefore
impacting your image at work, or uni or wherever.

Why do I blog? Of course I don't mind getting attention, but it's
really not my sole nor main purpose. I blog because it is a truly
unique experience, I do write, secretly, and in other places. But
besides the political/social/Lebanon blog (for obvious reasons), I got
this. I blog random thoughts, silly thoughts, rarely ideas, mostly
naggings, sometimes incidents that happened to me. Why? well it's for
two main reasons:
1- People's comments and their way of viewing things
2- Documenting this part of my life

And finally, why do I write? Besides the evident reason that I express
myself in writing better than speech.. When I was 17, my late best
friend told me, to write. For some reason she believed in me. Yes, I'm
no great writer, I know this very well, I get like a nice metaphor
every 5 thousands words or so... but nothing will ever stand in the
way of me writing.

...

Would you die knowing a secret and not telling it to anyone before you.. die?

Hello Motto

I always heard people say they have a motto in life. I never knew what mine is, tried hard to think of one, but to no avail.

It's been quite some time, maybe a year or so, that I have decided to actually enjoy every moment that I can possibly enjoy. I didn't quite get the hang of it easily, it took time, but it was always an objective of mine. To finally realize that it has become my motto "3an jadara" (well earned)...

"You live once, so fuckin' enjoy it while you can"

Beirut #1 no surprise, I retract what I said before

I once expressed surprise that Beirut was considered #1 place to visit among another 44 of which many for me are amazing places in NYtimes (check here). So today, I would like to retract what I said and definitely cheer and support this vote, because last time I spoke about downtown Beirut, which even if some restaurants closed since Hariri's assassination, opposition sit-in, all the demonstrations taking place there etc, I totally forgot (silly me) that Beirut consists of other amazing regions as well, such as Hamra, Ashrafieh, Rawsheh, Gemmayze, etc...

Hamra is really an amazing place, I can't believe I didn't see this before this recent month. My blogging colleague compared Hamra to Newyork, and had almost the same impression I had about Hamra. When it comes to me, Hamra reminds me of Paris a lot. I loved Paris because it had everything, and crazily enough I had missed seeing that Hamra had everything as well, for 28 years. Pubs, restaurants, cafes, shops and most importantly hotels all inside buildings in which people live, and other buildings where people work, such as centers, banks. Moreover the roads, the streets, the architecture of having old buildings, open and crowded all the time. It's there.

What about Gemmayze? Pubs street par excellence. I will talk thoroughly about the other regions when I'm not too sleepy, and hopefully have pictures to show you.

So yes, I really think Beirut has it all. I am really hoping that the elections go by with no problems, because if they do, I think we will have the best summer in decades.

Edited: I would like to add a link to Hamra's map that I found on Hannibaal's blog. Enjoy.

I gotta fast car

This morning I woke up to a weird dream (like most of my dreams), I suddenly see in front of me La Bastille, but in the dream I couldn't remember the name, I convinced myself it was called Baymen, quelque chose comme ca! I look at my boyfriend while he was driving and told him with surprise that Paris is only a 6 hours drive from Lebanon, and continued that we should do this more often, we can go have dinner for two hours and come back to Lebanon, it's really worth it!

And as I was analyzing in my dream, if you go by land, you won't need a passport or a visa. I was very happy to know that. Then we went to La Seine, there was a ship, that was throwing fun rockets, but one of them did bump into the ceiling of a car. I thought that it's normal, it's their show, people accept it. And I woke up.

From Lilzi to Lilo

I was always Lilo... thus the blog's title changing :)

Kylie - Part VIII

*"You see, I don't mind doing that at all." He looked at her with smiling eyes knowing that she still doesn't understand what he means.

She moved away, walked to the rocks and picked a flat one, sat on it facing the sea and listening to the waves crashing on these rocks hoping that she might find with each wave a letter in a bottle telling her what she should do.*

A lot of times couples find themselves thrown in front of the possibility of a long distance relationship, many couples decide to split before they part. Weird choice of words sequence. Split before they part. Why would people split before they part? What about the other kind of couples, who decide to try and make it work realizing
that's it's extremely hard and needs a lot of work and effort to be put in it, and there is the last type of couples, who think it will be a piece of cake.

Long distance relationships sometimes work, and sometimes it doesn't, and it has nothing to do with what kind of couples they were, or whether they really loved each other or not, or how long they have been together before it all happened, or what each individual is looking for in this distance.

Consequences? It can be break-up, cheating, break-up with cheating, break-up without cheating, immediate marriage, loss of feelings towards each other, development of stronger feelings.

People are scared to realize something due to the long distance relationship, they're scare to realize that they can actually live without their other half, or scared to find out that they cannot live without their other half.

Technically speaking, yes they can. But we're not speaking technically here. We're just talking about a person realizing that life isn't just about careers, success, money and traveling, sometimes life is about being with the person you love. A person wouldn't want to admit that. Does this mean there is really no need to work hard on accomplishing things? On personal development?

This is where math comes in. Math or Informatics, your pick. Both are amazing because both have and are based on logic. Remember the Union? The mutually exclusive Union? In computer words we say OR and XOR!

See, if you're afraid of something, let's say changing your location even though it is for the better of your career, you're scared to make this change, because you're not sure if this is because you might lose the one person you have ever loved and that really made you happy, or because you're just afraid to make a change. If you are afraid to make a change, does this mean you have been delusional and not really in love? And tadaaaa, no, not necessarily, possible, but not essential. This is where the XOR gets thrown out of the window, and OR does its magic. You can be both.

*Dany followed her to the rocks but said nothing. She looked up and she looked down. Kept looking up and down for God knows how long. Then she blurted thinking that she had found a solution with slight confidence though, hoping that maybe if she simplifies things, it can get simple

-"I think we can make it work if you leave, I really do. I will travel and visit you a couple of times a year, you'll do the same. Maybe I will find work there, or possibly find a scholarship and do that thesis I've been rambling about for the past years... We can make it work!" Said Kylie with complete denial, hope, passion and
hopelessness.

Dany lifted his arm, placed his fingers on her lips and shushed her. Even though she had stopped talking, he didn't want her to even have the chance of adding anything to what she had just said. He approached to her, removed his hand and placed both hands on her back, placed his cheek on hers and squeezed like he hasn't seen her for ages.

"I love you! I want to be with you! I know people say that sometimes love is not enough. Probably it's not. We'll work it out. Take a break and come with me, let's take a walk." He asked her and got up.

But she didn't follow. She was crying...*

Gotta get back to work.

Future is history

I am taking a break for a month from worrying and over-thinking about my future.

No, apparently I'm no fool

The big Yanassib paper does cost 10000LL :D while I thought I was taken for a fool here.

Last words

Every story has more than one side to it. Everything has a different point of view. Common mistake people do is assume the negative of things and misinterpret certain inputs that are used later on as hypothesis upon which assumptions are built, assumptions that are not correct, and consequently reach wrong conclusions.

A person can't take this conclusion and have an attitude towards it. Why? Because as Einstein puts it: "No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it".

Maybe I am self-centered or maybe it wasn't about me, but in case it was, every person who is or was close to me at a point in time should know how much friendship is sacred for me.

One final thing, no one makes someone become who they are... they just help. I thought I did my part too, helped?

Confessions of a shopaholic

The main reason why I want to see this movie, is because when the dudette's boss catches her red-handed at work and asks her if she opened google to search for something, she answers: "I googled"

Hah... I love her already. I also love google (hire me? I'm an excellent software engineer/technical expert/developer/...)

Angel

A lot of dreams cross my mind. I remember and feel sad about the days I had lost the ability to dream. I didn't regain it all yet, but am working on it. I don't think I have ever been this satisfied and never had such peace within, since I was born maybe. Of course there are those bad days, the beast days (PMS)... but all in all, it is a new phase for me.

I want to document this, so I can return to it in the future.

One of those dreams of mine is going to Tibet. Am not sure what I can do there. Maybe meet a monk. Meditate. Sit alone for days. I want to sit alone for days. I want to eat rice for days. I want to contemplate nature for days and listen to silence. Sure as hell I don't get to listen to silence in New Rawda.

I want to be able to wake up in the early morning, and run.

I want to feel free. I don't want to owe anything to anyone. I feel like I have to though, to my family. It would be selfish of me if I don't.

I want to meet new people from everywhere, hear where they come from. I remember I used to exchange letters with a Moroccan friend, 2 actually, a Jordanian, an American, Algerian, Egyptian, and an Indian :) *can you dalk without mooving yo headd* (a joke of an ex of mine)

Anyway, you meet a lot of people along the way. Some stay, some you meet again and cross occasionally, which is not by coincidence man! and those that leave. And the best of them, of those friends, are the ones... one... who transform to something even more beautiful. I thank my angel for that, wherever you are. Rest in peace.

Colplay in UAE

Oh that does it, first Robbie Wiliams, then KORN then Iron Maiden, Now Andrea Bocelli on 27 March and Coldplay on 28 March? Am seriously pissed. I am very jealous and pissed at my own country. These events should've been happening all in Lebanon. We lost all this musical and cultural opportunities....

Who's next? Tori Amos and Norah Jones? Want me to go nuts?

ARGH!!!

A drink a day increases risk of cancer for women

(I had posh in mind when I wrote this, and every other women I know)

"A glass of wine each evening is enough to increase your risk of developing cancer, women are being warned. The risk goes up the more you drink, whether spirits, wine or beer, the data on over a million women suggests. Overall, alcohol is to blame for about 13% of breast, liver, rectum, mouth and throat cancers, the researchers say. "

Read full article here.

Hmm they sorta drink a lot though, don't they?

Just babbling... (probably a title used before)

Writing
I haven't written in a long time. I mean written, and not typed. Well maybe it's for the better, as I think too fast and my hand can't keep up. I end up making a lot of grammatical and vocabulary mistakes, luckily hidden by my lousy handwriting.

Becoming someone
I remember once I told someone, a virtual nickname back then, remember my name you will hear of it again in the future. I thought I'll be someone. Funny thing is.. I did become someone, didn't everyone? I always had a shaky definition for success. Is it money? Is it high degrees? Is it social rank? Is it a position at work?

My nephew
I love looking at my nephew. I love the fact that I described what his personality is going to be when he was still 5 or 6 months old. And now when he's a 18 months old everyone is coming to agree with me. I also said he's gonna be very tall, he was still a day old. And yes.. he is taller than his age.

Motherhood
I wonder about having a kid of my own one day. Big tummy. Me? Wow. An idea so far from happening, I smile when I think of myself as a mother. I like mothers who fully understand what being a mother is. Sometimes I feel sad for the reason that some women believe it is not something of a big deal and a billion other women has gone through it before. This is the impression I get. But no. Enjoy every moment. It is a beautiful thing. It is. Don't let anyone convince you in taking it for granted.

Blogging
*sigh* I want to be as honest as I can on this stupid blog. I always write something and then I backspace it. Most readers know me in real and I don't trust people in general. Don't be offended. It's just people don't know any better sometimes, they think they're doing you good and then they end up ruining things. No one wants to hurt me that's for sure. 'Coz I have a tazer gun and I'll taze their ass with it if they do.

Existential question
Why the fuck do I blog? Why am I blogger? How did I become one?... I know I know. It's like a bloggy contract, something I get back to and say to myself, this is how you used to think and this is how you looked at things.

Ok you can wake up now and close this window, or tab ...

WH Days

Workaholic days scare me... I scare myself.

Polygamy...

Over time, I found myself falling in love with Eric. Alan certainly wasn't blind to this, so we all got together to discuss it.

The article I have two husbands: A Polygamist's diary is about a woman who ended up married to guy, in love with another guy who is married to another woman, and I didn't get how the 3rd woman fits in the equation, and they all live together!

I do try to keep an open mind in these cases, for me no, but I am pro not following blindly the traditions... So I still am interested in understanding the HOW...

So... How? It's a bit weird. It's hard enough to have two people agree, share finances, share a house, have dreams with, build a family, invest in a life... how about 5 persons? She said it's not about sex, it's about love. Maybe that's friendship? I don't know.. Am a bit puzzled. Thoughts?

Zorb globe

Euuuhhh, that seems like fun!

Irony or Foolishness

I'm not sure if this is ironic or just foolish of me. Hear this. Yesterday, I was parking my car so I can go to my spanish course. A little boy comes up to me and tries to sell me Yanassib. I usually don't buy lottery or yanassib. But I always tend to converse with these people and try to know more about them. Although he was the one to open a discussion. Telling me, after I immediately refused to buy one, that all this money is going for his learning. Inspector gadget of me, I investigated with him, and asked him what he's learning, 2 minutes later I was able to come to the conclusion that he's not going to school, and me acting like a smart ass, I finally told him that I will buy it, but I know he's not getting any education, and that I really wish he does get an education one day. I gave him a 5000LL, he told me, this costs 10000LL, so I said, ok give me half of it, he gave
me a said face, I insisted. And then I left all proud of myself that I was sorta able to say No.

Hmmm, you do know that the whole Yanassib paper costs 5000LL and not 10000LL? Ok the uneducated him knows it, but I didn't. So I feel like a fool right now. But am sure gonna search for him on Monday and taze him with my gun! Ok for sure I won't, I am too fucking peaceful... I will just look for him and preach him a bit.. bleh...

Count to 10 000

I don't know why I always have this urge, this need, to prove to
delusional persons that they're delusional. I know the whole equation
doesn't sum up. They're delusional? How can they listen to logic
anyway. What pisses me off the most is me wanting to show how
delusional those people are in front of others, not all the time, but
only when this delusional person starts getting on my nerves and
starts bugging other people including myself. Do we shut up? Do we
stay quiet and not show this person where he's going wrong? Especially
when some fools congratulate them? Argh! I am so mad.

Breathe in... breathe out... count to 10 000... might actually calm down.

Spending is an art

From my modest experience of earning my own money since I was 19,
which sums to a little bit more than 9 years, I have come to realise
that money is a feeling and never about how much it really is. It only
matters what you do with it and how you do it.

Right na!

Who would've thought that it would feel like summer on a Friday in February?
Who would've thought that the most persnickety person I know would
fall in love with me?
Who would've thought that I would sing AKon's "Right now now now"
along with someone in the car?

PD

I hate Paranoid days...

Global Warming Impact on Clothing Trend

Is it me or is Global Warming really affecting the way women are
dressing these days. Now that the winter in Lebanon is no longer as
cold as it used to be, if you have noticed, sweaters now are no longer
long-sleeved but short sleeved!

I hate money

I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate it.

I hate how people build up debts. I hate their need for money. The feeling of being short on money. The feeling of being broke. The feeling of feeling that they'll never make it. The dependency on others to get money.

I hate it.

Women

Point #1: The problem with some smart women out there is they're attempt to over-do it, to over-display their intelligence and general knowledge.

Point #2: Another problem is that they're afraid of criticizing other women's intelligence level, because they think that this will give a point up for the men.

Point #3: Moreover, women tend to exaggerate in their reactions, more like emotions. They take things personal and start crying like little girls.

Ok let's elaborate on point #1. If you're smart, then you're smart, you don't need to take any simple small chance to showcase what you know just so you show that you know something. This is like "trying too hard" and it's sort of pathetic. Sharing knowledge is really one of my favorite hobbies, I like talking about what I know when I sense that it will help or enrich or even get me back more knowledge. But sharing knowledge to brag? Is seriously something I despise, whether it coming from women or men! I see that in my workplace a lot. Not all days am I in a flexible mood you know!

Concerning point #2, fear of criticizing other women and giving a point up for the men, it's true, this might really happen, but you see it's either immature men will jump at any opportunity to take that point and dance with it, or the woman is quite naive and loses the point. But honesty is honesty, just know how to pick your battles and when ;)

Last point, point #3, the main question is why are women so fragile? Because we have been brought up this way. I am not pro-raising a girl to become completely masculine. But I can't deny that I like many traits some gentlemen have. I would want to see a woman who stands up for herself with courage, dignity and stability of emotions. On that note, know that I am not saying this is only a trait of men, on the contrary, it's just that it isn't quite developed in the proper way for women (men too, but that's another subject). These women exist, they do. But I want more women to join that crowd, including myself of course.

I will admit of having a weakness. Why? Because I want to admit it, confess, let the world know (by that I mean the two readers I have :P) and fix it.

My weakness is the following: I still let things get to me. Truth is, what I decided to do is stop and think before I "emotion". "Emotion" here is used as a verb. To feel and to emotion are two different things. To feel is something I would never want to lose, to emotion yes, that I want it gone! And you know what I discovered? It's working.

Oh and I hate one thing about -- what's the perfect word here -- marshmellow women (in arabic, mey3in), sort of the opposite of rigid, who speak like they need their jaw attached one to another, etc... SHIDDO 7ALKOUN!

I don't mind people talking about themselves if it's relevant, if it's not, just put a sock in it, would ya!

Beirut top 1 recommended place among 44

I know many people have probably already seen this or linked to this, but I have to do it as well.

Beirut is the top 1 recommended place to visit by reader and by the NY times. If you filter by Luxury, foodie and party, you get Beirut in the list as well.

Personally? I was shocked. 50% to 60% of the restaurants in Beirut are... closed. I don't get it. The city has been a weird place since Hariri was assassinated, demonstrations, camping in the city, closing it down... Restaurants and shops closing, people losing their jobs!

I don't get it! It doesn't make sense! It doesn't add up!

But still, AHLA W SAHLA! Everyone's welcome to come! Seriously! Don't listen to me! Improve our economy! Come do tourism here!

How can I stop it?

How can I stop thinking too much?

I think too much.
Je pense beaucoup.
Yo creo mucho.
Bfakkir ktir...

So vast, so large, so cold and so white

Will 2009 be the year smoking is banned in public places in Lebanon?

It's a dream indeed. Meanwhile, all we ask is for the smokers to respect those who don't smoke in a restaurant for example. I am not saying pub, am not sayin night club, just restaurant where I want to eat my meal without the smoke going through my nostrils.

2 weeks ago, we were in a restaurant inside a mall. We had ordered our food and were waiting for them. When 2 women come and sit on the table on our right. So far so good. Suddenly, one of them lit a cigarette and all the smoke came towards me, allowing me to inhale the healthy air. So we kindly asked her if they can put it off or switch places between each other. So the woman ignores us and asks the waiter whether this was a smoking or non-smoking place. By default, most of the places in Lebanon are pro-smoking, so he nods. Then she looks our way and says:
- "Change your places if you're bothered".

Of course, I answered back, but long story short, they stayed, the waiter suggested another table, I refused, told him we got here first and we like our table and if anyone should move to another table it's them. In the end, nothing changed, except I got a Tiramissu for free.

Anyway, check out this article here, they're saying after a study that lasted 3 years, that the smoking ban helped decrease the percentage of hospitalized heart attack by 41%.

Kylie - Part VII

... placed them on hers." *

I always wondered what the forth dimension really is. Traditionally, they say it's time. So how can time be a forth dimension? I think I understand how. The concept of time is pretty complexe and pretty simple at the same... time. When they kissed, they did not grow older, night did not become day and winter did not become spring. She simply felt like she existed forever. The moment itself, propagated throughout the whole universe, or at least this is how she felt.

*- "There is this thing I've invited to. I don't want to go but I have to!" complained kylie.
- "Then don't go!", he screamed.
- "I told you, I can't, it's something important for my self-image at work! It's important! Don't make it harder on me!", she screamed back.
- "Do whatever you want!" he replied.

She got pissed, got out of his car and slammed the door. He did not wait for her to regain intelligence, he started his car and drove away. She cried as hell that night. She couldn't ask him to be with her, he didn't understand that it's something she had to do, and bringing him along, will be extremely boring for him and worriesome
for her.

That night she went to her thing. She was there. She preserved her self-image, the image she worked hard on regaining. Regaining because due to her previous relationship, she sort of messed up.*

Emotional blackmail, and mental stress do not make you more productive at work, or anywhere for that matter. Would she rather be with him? Of course she does. Would he? Most definitely! Then why are they disputing? What's wrong? Why do couples sometimes make things worse while if they both look deep inside, even not that deep inside, they will see that all the arguments, all the accusations, all the yelling is only because they love each other so hard that they found out that the world is only a place that means nothing if one is not there for the other.

Perhaps they don't believe that good things happen to good people. Is it too good to be true? The human being has been trained all his life to dream about happiness, to dream big, but when it comes they are not as happy as they thought they would be. Why? Because they'd rather diminish from their positive feelings in order to prevent being hit in the face, with disappointment, failure or criticism.

Or maybe they're doing all that because they know they're getting too attached to each other, and losing each other is out of question. It's the first step to loneliness, isolation, alienation, craziness and sorrow. It's not a cliché, it's not drama, it's reality.

*- "Want me to pick you up? I'd hate for you to get back home that late!" he expressed with worry.
- "Don't worry, I will be home some, a colleague of mine will drop me off. I will call you as soon as I get home." she answered and calmed him down.*

But the beauty of such a relationship, of such sincere and honest communication is that in 1 minute things will go back to heir course.

*- "Are you going to take that offer? If yes, how many times will you come back to the country per year? Will I see you? What's gonna happen to us?" she blurted with multiple questions all anxious.
- "Babe, am not sure I'll take the offer. We'll see"
- "But, it's a good opportunity, I'd hate to think you would change your career path just for me, I'd hate that!" she said with tears in her eyes awaiting any word to explode.
- "What's wrong with changing my path just for you? you see, I ..."

Gotta go back to work, have a deadline.

Nuking the Fridge - Movies most ridiculous moments

I was so happy to see this article, very funny. It's so true,
sometimes the movie is seriously fun to watch, pretty impressive,
pretty eye-catching, but suddenly I don't know what happens and
Hollywood people throws you with an utterly ridiculous scene... why?
whyyyyyyyy!??? whyyyyyyyyy??? *dramatic style*

Check it out here:
http://movies.yahoo.com/photos/collections/gallery/1328/nuking-the-fridge/fp#info

Friendship lost

True that life teaches us to be strong, ready, on-guard, aware, it teaches us at one point not to expect too much, and that's just a way to protect ourselves. When we don't expect too much, we won't get disappointed. I, on the other hand, forgot this lesson, and expected a bit more than what people can deliver. Silly me.

Friendship is sacred for me. It's not just a relationship existent between two people who share common hobbies, common interests, share laughs and listen to each other nag. It's much more. I had a beautiful friend once. I hope I brought joy to her heart as much as she did to mine.

... I won't expect too much. Not all people are wise. Or maybe, they don't care enough.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas fellow bloggers the simpsons way :)

As mom put it

"28 years earlier I was having cramps and was going to have you! Happy Birthday mom"

Last year I spoke about age, this year? I got my fucking Canon Rebel XS 1000D WOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :D:D:D

Santa, this year I want...

The idea of work still surprises me at certain times. I suddenly realise I am at work, I am at this location that is called work. A place which I visit everyday, 5 times a week, I wake up and go there, spend the required hours and leave. It's really a bizarre thing. The strangest of all this, is me, me being at work, participating in this weird cycle, who would've thought I am a 9 to 5 person (actually 8 to 5:30)... One day, one day I will do what I want.

Christmas commcercials are so funny, I can hear them saying at one point "Buy a Sony Cybershot and get a Dodge Charger with it :D"

I try to wonder if I ever leave this life, will I be missed. Surprisingly, I don't care, I am recently doing things, nice things for others, but not because I want them to know I did it, or thank me for it, or remember me after I'm gone (wherever that place is), but because I just like adding this innocent feeling of laughter and chilling and relaxation for people, it makes me happy to see people happy.

I don't know what's gone into me, maybe I ate a lot of baked potato or maybe I have been visited by the 3 ghosts of christmas! The difference between Scrooge and myself is that he was greedy and rich, and I am .. let's say slightly rich, if I compare myself to those people who are starving to death in Africa, but am also generous, the feeling of not giving a fuck about money is ecstatic.

Nevertheless, I would love to have a lot of money, I want to carry the money in my hand and throw it, I want to send poor children to schools, I want to be able to provide educational orientation and guidance to those who are confused about their future, I want to be able to look at people and give them the opportunity to be the best
they can be and choose the best thing for them. I want to help create the best society. And best of all, I want to organize dinner parties for people, for free, or maybe let them pay and give the proceedings to encourage pesons with physical or mental disabilities to work and be productive. I want to be able to get the best rock, blues and metal bands to play concerts in Lebanon. Music has to be introduced to every single soul! And of course Operas.

I want to make people happy and decent enough to respect each other even when they don't like each other.

And then I guess I wake up :)

Whatever, I believe to leave the place I was once in better than the way I found it.

Oh and I want to receive National Geographic magazines, how rude, I can never order them to Lebanon!

Sock and Awe

http://www.sockandawe.com/

The Iraqi journalist might've missed, but am sure you won't!

Chef THE cabine?

In my previous post I said "Chef the cabine", I meant chef DE cabine!
It's so funny when we think, we hear ourselves think and write them
down without really focusing on the spelling, especially cause I was
writing in English and the expression is French... Ok khalas am sure
inno fhemto and you forgive me. Rude people! :P

Brainstorming with myself while at work and not working

The idea of returning and doing my PhD always bumps into my forehead,
sit in front of my eyes and waits for my decision. I always dismiss
it. Mainly for 2 major reasons:
1- PHD in computer science sounds boring for me and unmotivating.
2- Maybe it's just in my field, but I noticed that there are many PhD
professors who suck. And I know many do this just for the title.

In consequence, I am always sitting here and wondering of what I am
going to do next. Is it an MBA? I am so pissed that no one told me
what I know now. I wanted to do a PHD, and that's why I did a Master's
in Computer science, but now that this isn't what interests me, I find
that I should've done an MBA, especially that I did business stuff.

... Honestly? I still think about Psychology. I always wanted to do
something that has to do with understanding humans and human behavior!
How cool!

Anyway, I think next step should be an MBA, when and where? No answer yet!

For now, learning Spanish is doing it for me.

Be honest

Lying to oneself is nothing new. A lot of people do it. But a lot of people try to face themselves, try to see what's fake and what's true. But most of them don't know the difference, they think they're no longer in denial, living in lies and building upon wrong assumptions more dark thoughts and more erronous conclusions.

Basic principles of communication is: Go ask. Don't imagine things. Don't invent things. There is no need for dark thoughts, no need for bad intentions. Be honest... Be honest. Get it? Be honest. Go ask. Because really... you don't know. You think you know. Those people? Those bad energy people, who you say keep following you. Lock them out. Maybe you cannot do it physically. But the brains? the brains are an amazing thing. So lock them out mentally. Look at them, wait for them to finish, and then smile, tell them whatever they want to hear, then go. Yes, become a selfish asshole. Fuck them. It's your time now.

It's over, it's gone. There is no conspiracy, shit happens. Most probably for the best. Embrace it and move on.

La Joie de Partager! - From Anta Akhi

Cette année "Anta Akhi" offre un joli paquet à l'approche de Noel.
Notre paquet contient 10 cartes de Noel dessinées par nos jeunes atteints de handicap, 8 bâtons de chocolat et 2 pots de confiture (170 gr chacun) produits par le SeSoBEL.

Le tout, joliement emballé et livré chez vous à 25.000 LL seulement.

Pour vos commandes, n'hésitez pas à contacter Chantal au 04.408890 ou par email: antaakhi[at]inco.com.lb

"Christmas package offered by Anta Akhi, it includes 10 greeting cards that have been drawn by handicaps, 8 chocolate bars and 2 jam pots (170gr each) (please check attached image) that have been produced by SeSoBEL, for the price of 25.000LL"

My own restaurant

Oh one of the things I fantasize about when I listen to the blues, is my own restaurant/pub, american style of course, with this music playing in the background, so people can still talk and hear each other, and I'd welcome people to this restaurant, people know me, I know them, live piano performances... *sigh*

Fine music

At least when we used to watch cartoon back in the old days *TOM AND JERRY*, we used to listen to fine music in the mean time. Ah the blues..

Am just happy I got 1 good bargain in Paris, I got a 3CD Set of ladies singing the blues for 8 Euros! Yey!

Venus, Jupiter and the Moon, together

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27958792/

Oh and...

The French tend to translate their movies into French and even the
titles of the movies, so sometimes when reading the title you really
cannot make which movie it really is! Anyway I saw the translation of
Eagle Eye yesterday, and the translation was... *drums beating*
"L'oeil du mal"

Wlek shou khas? Don't they even at least watch the movie before
translating the title that probably took I donno how much for the
original people to come up with!

Whatever!

Ok rta7et nafsiyan :P But the crepe here rocks!

Yes Paris - No Poop

5 days and I did not step in poop in Paris. Why? Because I rock! Okay okay I've been careful and all. So I have today and tomorrow to make without stepping in poop. Do you think I'll make it?
The temperature is still the same, between 0 degrees and 5! But I don't longer feel that cold, so I think my body is immune sorta! Who would've thought!
That's paris for me! Cold and poopy! Ok ok am kidding, it's much more than that, it's a nice place, really, pretty good for taking photographs at night if you have a good cam that is, or at least a tripod. Either ways, I like it cause it has an amazing wide variety of things to do and places to eat in.
Funniest thing is, I looked up a toy store online, that is pretty close by, so I picked the gift to buy for my nephew, I went there, and it was a soirée privée, meaning you can only get to the store if you have an invitation! Argh! French w 7araketoun. So I left ... like a person who was not able to get a gift for her nephew! But I bought a white coat pour moi!

Paris, who would've thought I would feel this way.

This time felt different, this time is different.

While I was in the taxi on my way to the hotel, I looked outside... I
felt nothing. All I was thinking about was getting to the hotel, going
online and resting.

Last time?
Last time I tried to eat Paris with my eyes. As soon as I got to the
hotel, I dropped my things in my room and got out till the last metro
took me back.

This time?
This time, I went to the hotel, found that internet is not free, cried
a bit and held the "Don't try to cheer me up, I am disturbed already"
something like that T-shirt, I held it close, and cried. I want to go
back to Lebanon. 7 more days and I will be back.

The shower booth is so freakin small, I kept bumping into it. BLEH.

And I drank a 3 Euros bottle of water, barely half a liter (well it
was from the mini bar) I was too thirsty and no way I was gonna get
out in the cold to buy water!

Paris, who would've thought I would feel this way.

My brother

*looks both ways*
*okay no one's there, I can write from the heart...*

Just when you think you're having a bad day or a bad week, not necessarily bad, but sort of not amusing and not fun and not cheery "yey w yay"... but "ouf w leish"... something quite interesting happens, like someone you've know for 27 years and 10 months and 28 days, tells you that your opinion matters to him, that he sees himself in you, that your eyes carry the same dreams his eyes used to carry...

Moreover, you get to know someone you used to greatly admire, but you forgot you admire over the years, things make people part; bad things, life, work, family, location, but then again, one word, one blink can bring back two persons to that exact same point they both left at, however both equipped with more. More knowledge, more ambition and more dreams.

I like this day. I thought it sucked, but the things that matter most finally brought itself to the surface.

No no! No! You are not having a worse day than mine!

You know you're having a bad day when while happily eating your
custard you feel something between your teeth, you see, custard is
supposed to be "meyi3", and why is there something plastiky in your
month? So you bring your fingers towards your lips, you bring out
whatever is in you mouth with your tongue towards your lips, suddenly
your fingers meet... a cockroach's leg.

I am surprised I did not puke!

I hate you all!

Kylie - Part VI "Crème de la crème"

... more than just eyes, she saw much more, and she felt much more. It was no longer just a look, it's a simple commitment, signed on by just looking at each other.*

Kylie was not experiencing an extra-terrestrial phenomenon or a miracle, it was simple Human Feelings 101. You've felt it, I've felt it. It's called love. People who fall in love with each other don't always have to say and spell things, they just see it and receive it.

*- "So what are our plans for tonight?" Asked Kylie.
- "I see..." He murmured. "So now it's become 'our'?" He demanded.
She smiled.
- "Yes." With an emphasis on the letter s. "Yes, what are OUR plans for tonight?" She said it while continuing to smile.
- "Am thinking we chill at my place, order some food and watch that DVD you've been nagging about for the past month. Whatcha say?", he enthousiastically asked her.
- "Sure thing! I like!" She confirmed.*

Ah... the simple things in life are sometimes what the doctor prescribes. Can you think of anything better and more relaxing than putting your feet up on the stool, eating pepperoni pizza and watching a good movie? I personally can't.

*Kylie was in her Sculpting course. She wanted to do something for herself, something different that her job line, she wanted to be as far away from where her clients might go, her colleagues might be interested in attending and her bosses dropping by! She decided to learn how to sculpt. Twice a week, pretty fun at the beginning, but grew to become rather difficult at later stages. However, she persevered, no quitting this time.

- "What time do you think you'll finish?" Nicely asked by Kylie.
- "Am not sure babe." He negatively replied.
- "Oh okay... well have a good night dear. We'll talk later." Kylie sadly answered.
- "Take care dear." He said.

While Kylie was coming out of her class, all pissed off at her lousy perfomance today, because she's pretty much stressed out from work, a lot of tasks, a lot of projects and deadlines concurring with each other. As soon as she got out of her class, there he was, like a dream, in his suit, no tie, the tie stayed in the car. He was standing there waiting for her and starring at the door from which she got out, waiting for her, his eyes did not wander, his eyes waited too.

She walked in fast pace towards him and gave him the most credible hug she's ever given. She hugged him and kissed him on the cheek.

- "You're here!" She screamed. "You're so cute baby"
He gave her his famous grin and said, "Am here babe."
He took her tools from her.
- "Let's take a walk"
- "Yey! Okay!" She answered excitingly.*

Sometimes Kylie behaves like kids, not in a bad way, but in a real sincere way. And she did when she saw him because she did not expect him to be there. She knew he had obligations and he was extremely tired. So the idea of him surprising her did not even cross her mind, thus her reaction was purely real. She was happy. How often do you feel really happy? And not calculated implicated concluded happyness? Yeah? Think about it. We've been taught to think happy and not feel happy, or at least this is my impression of things nowadays.

*- "You know..." She thought outloud. "Since I've been spending time with you, I just feel like everyone else doesn't compare to you, I just want to be with you and do even sillier things with you that really only feel like the best moments in my life. How can I have and experience such real moments with you, and then go and try to with other persons? How can I choose others over you? You are "crème de la crème". She babbled.
He kissed her. "Stop babbling babe, let's go grab something to eat!"
- "Oh you moron, you can't know when a compliment hits you in the face..." She stopped.
- "Yeah baby, just walk, you can't even get the come back expression right!" He laughed at her while pulling her towards him and placing him arm on her back without letting go of her arm.

She laughed. "You suck!" She pretended to say it with agony.
So he starred at her, and kept starring at her, they stopped walking. The noise around them disappeared. She looked at him and couldn't believe that such a moment can actually exist. She was there. Living it. So he leaned over with his big eyes, and she felt a bit dizzy. He leaned even more, with his pink lips he ... *

Am sort of hungry, so I will go have a soup!

Let life be the judge

Many times you feel like life is closing its doors on you, throwing tomatoes at you, creating multiple and various obstacles in front of you, tries to make you fall, magically creates a wall, tries to divert your route, and what do you do? you keep trying, because you think and know, were brought up to believe that you can and should do it.

But shouldn't you trust life? Don't you think that it's doing all this for a reason? And maybe you should just quit and stop whatever you're doing, maybe all you have to do is look to your right.

Kylie - Part V

... got pissed! Because it showed she cared. He knew that this was a measuring tool.*

Of course, he's gentle enough not to do this all the time, but only at the beginning, when he needed confirmation and assurance for his feelings, nevertheless for another reason too... He was very good at making her feel better all over again.

*A week later has passed, and Kylie's first choice was him. Everytime she thought of something fun to do, she would call him. Everytime she felt lonely and sad, she would call him. Everytime she just called him to chit chat, he would call back later on and book her for the night.

"Tastes good, doesn't it?" He said excitingly.
"Yeah, it's not bad" She said with her mouth full.

It was very cold near the sea where they were having their nocturnal snack. Suddenly as he leans over to give her a kiss on the cheek because she looked so funny wearing his sweater with its hat on her head, it was then that he noticed she was shivering.

"Baby, tell me next time you're feeling cold, we don't have to sit round here. Let's get in the car". He said as he stood up and headed to the car to tidy it up a bit.

"So tell me, describe the woman of your dreams for me! I can tell that you would definitely pick someone pretty, hmm, more like a simple beauty. You like simply beautiful women. But what about her brains?
Hmmm, intelligent of course, silly question.
Fine, what about her character?" She asked him with a sort of worry in her eyes. Like what he is going to say next is something she will not like, something threatening for her. She felt like she had to compete with the woman he's going to describe in his next sentence.

He smiled and gazed at her.

"Are you still cold idiot?" he whispered to her.
"Whatever! You're never serious! You're the idiot!" She screamed back.
"Oh how mature!" He giggled and trying to tickle her.

He thought for a moment and told her, "come here! I can see you're still cold!"
She got pissed, moved even further.*

But the thing is, she is the one who is being an idiot because she didn't get what he just did. You see, he was not like just any other man, he didn't want to tell her the traditional, uncreative way that he's starting to fall in love with her, that when he goes to sleep all he thinks about, is her, and when he wakes up, he moves to his right looking for her face, with her head on his pillow, with her hair scattered in his bed and her body scent in his nose.
But no, she had to act like a kid.
It's okay, sometimes he does like that about her. Men like their woman to appear fragile, delicate and kid-like, makes them feel protective.
Women like being in the presence of a protective man as well.

*He frowned, and then with a sarcastic smile on his face, he continued "Do you want me to drop you back home?"

She's very stubborn, but one of her good traits is that she's wise, she knows when it's the right time to start working again on patching things up. But let's not forget she's got wit and pride, so she won't give up that easily, she threw the ball back in his court.

"Do you want to drop me back home?" She said with a sweet voice.
"I asked you because I felt you wanted to go back home!" He answered
back. He's stubborn too.

"Why did you get mad?" He gave it another chance.

"I don't know", she said like she was going to cry.
"I act like babies sometimes, I know why. But I don't know the timing
that manifests it." She confessed.

"Why do you do it?" He asked.

She thought for a long time and remained quiet before she blurted: "You know that with my parents' bickering and constant fighting while I was still 11 and 12 years old, I had to be the referee, I had to be the mediator between both and act like an adult while they yelled at each other over who throws the garbage and who doesn't... I didn't get to do that, there was no room for a third child in the family", she spoke.*

I told you that men like fragile and delicate women, of course, sometimes, and not all the time. He likes her strong and outgoing personality. Her being the center of attention, the tons of silly jokes she throws to make everyone around her comfortable and having
fun.

*He leaned at her and squeezed her with all his strength, well no not all, but he hurt her, and it was a beautiful enjoyable pain for her. "Baby!" he said gently.

"Act like a baby as much as you want when you're with me!" He said.

She looked at him, and saw it, she saw...*

I am actually at work, and suppposed to be working, so I will get back to working before I get fired.

3oud...

I just feel like I want to dive in your eyes and swim in your head, and when I get out, I do not want to take a shower.

October 16, tune in to radios and TVs

“Call for Life” is not just a title of the CCCL’s new project, It is CCCL’s message!
CCCL is calling for your support, for the support of all the community in its mission of saving young lives.
This unique project is done for the first time.
October 16 will be CCCL’s day on all TV & most radio stations of Lebanon. You will be seeing CCCL Spots & Ads all through the day (from 7:00 am to midnight) calling for donations. Read more here

Moreover, apparently, October is the month for raising awareness about Cancer, so Go Pink!

I would also like to link to this simple yet straight forward poem/post that reminded me about this issue. Actually 2 days ago, a memory crossed my mind that almost a year ago, I put a pink sign on my blog in support of fight against cancer, and I was wondering if there is anything happening this month too, apparently there is.

Hopefully with more awareness and donations for the fight against cancer, more people will overcome this ugly sickness and survive...

I believe those who have it are extremely courageous people, I know this one special dear person, who was that courageous and that serene... she was gone at only 19. I wish ...cancer sucks...

A simple reminder that Poverty still unfortunately exists - Blog Action Day 2008

Poverty is not a new subject, I believe it existed since the first forms of societies. Moreover it is exactly understood as back then it was maybe this consequence had justified causes and reasons, but now what justifies it?

The problem with poverty is the vicious circle that they sank in those poor people, and now who cannot get out of it. It is not only a deprivation of food, clothing, shelter and those common necessities that most of us take for granted, it is also the deprivation of opportunities to learn, go to school which would lead those people into not having opportunities to obtain a good employment.

There are many things you as an individual can do, or even better as a group, you can start by raising awareness on the subject, more like, reminding people that this sad situation still exists. And what else you can do? It's donate to those NGOs that do actually try to provide those common necessities to poor people and opportunities to learn in hope that one day they can go about it on their own.

This is Blog Action Day, and these are things and action you can do and adopt.

p.s. As the nice person who commented pointed out, www.freerice.com is actually a very easy way to help feed people, you just play a game where you guess the meaning of a word from a list of words, and for each right one, you raise 20 grains... Mish ktir, bass byejma3o (not a lot, but the add up at the end of the day)

Kylie - Part IV

... she's inside. She didn't know what happened, one moment she was dining with him and the next she was inside this pub. *

Where the rain pours. Inside, where she's dancing in the rain. For her, raining outside or raining inside, she felt safe when she was with him, he was her umbrella. Do you have an umbrella? Someone you can rely on, trust and feel safe with? Kylie did. Many people envied her when she walked in that pub, I am sure.

*It was crowded. She shouted violently "That a foul you stupid referee!!" He smirked.
"Oh come on was that a foul?" His smile widened.
It was crowded. People bumped into her while passing through the pub*

She was oblivious perhaps. Shouting at a television screen, in a bar. At that time, the screen showed the team she was ruling for getting their asses kicked. She was oblivious. He wiffed the scent of her hair. She was still oblivious. She thought she was just there watching a game, and he's just with her keeping her company.

*A friend had a date, he came with them but it wasn't going too well though, someone else was hitting on his date. And he wasn't reacting to it.
- Did you notice that another dude is hitting on his date?
- Yeah I did, and she seems to be enjoying it" Kylie said with disappointment.*

He had told her once, how a man should take action in case someone hit on the woman he's with. Simple. Cut into the conversation. He would do it later on, months later, with a man who yearned for cameras. Photography was something that interested him, and cutting into the conversation was easy. But the team she was cheering for are still losing! Lets focus on what's happening in the pub.

*He told her to stand up. "Why?" - Just stand up woman.
And she did. Her bar stool was now infront of his, and she could lay her back on him. It was still crowded. The scent of her hair grew wilder.*

No arguments. Wow. She did not argue. She simply stood up, and allowed him to place her right in front of him. She was not oblivious anymore.
She was a woman.

You see, it no longer mattered who won the match. Something else mattered which both him and her started thinking about, gradually, which only time would manifest its meaning.

*There is this beach party, wanna come with?" She asked him eagerly as her friend can no longer come.
- Hmmm, let me think about it! Booz? Girls in Bikini? Dancing? ... NO!
- Hein?
- ... Fine I will go!*

What sometimes appears as a simple event, innocent coincidence, can turn out to be a life changing situation. Which both Kylie and her friend were not aware of.

So many times in our life we'd like to think that something happened for a reason, and to tell us something, and to guide us through life. But how often do things really happen for a reason which we did not account for?

*Are you going to swim?
- I will think about it!
- Okay fine, am gonna go take a dip, meet me in the sea if you want!
- Boy would I like to see Barbara take her top off!
- Oh you men only think of one thing don't you!" She said while getting pissed and swimming away.

What she did not know was that he watched her swim away, and that he had said that on purpose and that he enjoyed when she...*

Dishes need scrubbing. Better tend to them before mother has guests and they see the sink.

Marina 3 - 3aranis dara, min baddo?

This



or this?



I tried to play with the colors a bit, am not sure how successful I was at it.

A Jbeil person

I stood there alone, in the middle of downtown Beirut, waiting for an sms from someone whom I've never met before. It was something that had to do with citizen journalism, and much more. I had just finished registering for learning Spanish courses. I finally did it.

I did not mind standing there, I tend to do it, to gaze aimlessly. She was wearing heels, and she kicked the football towards the kid, it was a bad kick, I could do better, but still, it was a nice gesture, I mean she was wearing heels. I saw it, the expression on her face, she
was so proud of herself and so happy.

I looked to my right, there was the army dude, I think he kept observing me, because I did look suspicious, starring at everyone,staying put, and checking my mobile phone every minute.

Downtown is not what it used to be, it's different. I couldn't really put my finger on what changed that really affected me, let's just call it, a feeling of unfamiliarity, of strangeness. I remember I used to love this place. I felt like I don't belong. It's okay I guess, I am a Jbeil person.

Wish that was my account

I got to the ATM machine on Friday afternoon to withdraw some of my money (You know beginning of the month and stuff)... so I got there and there was a receipt still hanging out of the machine, I usually just take it out and throw it, but this time I decided to look at it and this is what I saw!



Still didn't get the hint? Count the zeros :)

My new way of commenting

Okay, as I've already mentioned, I no longer am capable of accessing
blogger.com, so I cannot comment on you guys's posts.
For example, I am dying to write something on Mx9's post:
http://thedailyscribbler.blogspot.com/2008/09/night.html

Don't you even dare go see each other without me! (Baddik tijeh Coco?)

Another post I want to participate in is posh's:
http://poshlemon.blogspot.com/2008/10/just-another-afternoon.html

I want to tell Krys, we get to tell them how we witnessed the birth of
blogging :D and been a part of it!
Plus posh... you must've had a really serene time eh?

How am I posting this post? I got my secrets :P

Kylie - Part III

...In'n'out and pig it till we drop!"

Then she smiled... she smiled the whole way. They got there, he took the double, she took the standard one, with the extra special sauce of course. She watched him eat. And couldn't stop smiling!*

The thing is, sometimes people forget what happiness is really about. You're living in this moment, right? This moment, not the previous one and not the up-coming one. It's this one. How hard is it to enjoy this moment.

It's not that simple, you see, you have to be with the right person to do it, you have to be doing something cute, something simple, something true and something fun...

*"You're amazing, you know that?", she said it while smiling.
As he wiped the sauce of his lips with his tongue, he smiled back and looked at her and said: "Are you trying to get into my pants or something?"
She cracked up, and couldn't stop laughing and hitting him at the same time.*

She's genuinely happy with him, it's just fun, it's just a series of great fun moments! Do you get it? The peace she's feeling at this point. She's just threw this huge load off of her shoulder, and now she's with someone she loves and cares for, and most importantly, someone she trusts blindly.

*Slight smile... observing eyes, she drowned in his eyes, moving downwards to the side of his mouth, she saw a wrinkle... and then she saw many. The thing is, he only had one, but she saw many, suddenly his beard turned gray, and more wrinkles started being drawn, like blood going through new veins, around his eyes...*

How often do you see yourself ageing with someone? You know, there are those friends that you know, when you change jobs, or change countries, or change marital status, you'll lose, but there are those, who will remain with you till you grow really really old. You can see yourself sitting with them on the porch, sipping on hot tea, and talking about your fun memories and experiences together. This is what Kylie saw... with a bit more and closer than she thought she would.

*- So you're not going to ask me what happened?
-Hmmm! Why should I? Would it make a difference? Would you feel better? Would I have any added value on the subject? Drink your coke light babe! We have all the time to talk about it...

Instead of getting angry, she smiled again, she understood what he meant exactly. But something inside of her was tickeling her... she feels like she's in...*

My friend came over, I have to go and spend some quality time with her. Sorry again!

Ridiculous weddings!

Marriages in Lebanon are becoming more and more "Mazahir" like
(Showing off). Yes I know this is old news, but the amount of money
couples are setting their minds into spending on their "Weddings" (and
not marriage) is ridiculous.

I know a couple who are still barely paying for the furnishing and
renovation of their new obtained house (which they still have to pay
its installments for the next 20 years), who have set their minds into
spending 25 thousand dollars on the wedding, and finally realizes that
25k is not enough and are now looking into spending 35k. So finally I
asked the bride-to-be all ashamed of my butting in, but I couldn't
stop myself:
-"Excuse me for asking this curious question, but do you have this
amount of money?"

She replied with a big "No!" followed by a cute giggle.

I couldn't help but say something which I usually refrain from doing
to people's faces, I said: "Inte mahboulé!" (You're an idiot!)

I continued saying that I understand things are getting ridiculously
expensive, but this is getting out of control, with this money you can
send off one of your kids to a private college, you can buy a new car,
you can go on an amazing honey with the quarter of that amount, you
can do a lot of things.

Lebanese people are such vulnerable and superficial people sometimes,
that they forget what this event is really about! I am not saying
cancel the whole day, I know most of little princesses dream of this
day most of their lives, but a white dress, a nice tux, family and
friends around when you say the "I do", good food and good music, do
not cost 35k! Mashouna!

DUDES! WAKE UP! Rou7o nbosto into!

Don't wanna sound like a pompous ass

A lot of people keep telling me to grow my nails, being a woman and
all, it would make me look classy or trashy (depends on the color).
They asked why I don't, and this was my answer:
"I like to differentiate myself from dead people when we go bowling
together everything Thursday night."

Answer this!

You! Yes you! I am talking to you! You know! You? The one who's reading this post! You're (most probably) facing a certain problem, this problem of yours, do you think money would solve it? Hein?

Kylie - Part II

... bad person!*

The thing is we are so caught up with so much unnecessary vocabulary, such as rotten, evil, hurtful, asshole, egghead... that we rarely now use the word "bad". Bad person... I personally think it is the most approriate word to use in so many occasions and in her case it was pretty adequate. Don't curse, don't describe, don't go eloquent ... just say it the way it is.

*I can't believe you did this to me! I can't believe that I forgave you the first time! They say "Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me!"

He's just standing there, looking directly at her face*

How rude of him!

*There were several women in the shop, checking the items there, but the way Kylie came in and slapped him... They were mesmerised actually! Not shocked, not curious! But mesmerised by how beautiful she is, how ugly he is and how strong her slap to him was! They respected her*

Women sometimes tend to succumb to ... assholes, lazy asses, women beaters, cheaters, gamblers, to men who are not men, who do not put food on the table, who do not give time to their children, who do not take them out on Sunday afternoon to play and spend some quality time with them, men who do not care about anything but themselves. So when women see a sister stand on her feet, a sister who finally decided to get out of it all, slap the bad person and leave, they just feel proud of her. She gives them hope.

*She drove on root I64, she wasn't sure why she chose this highway, she knew she was going to end up in another state, but she didn't care anymore, she did not want to think, to decide and to make choices. She drove. But deep inside, she knew this highway, she knew which exit she was going to take next and which turn to follow. And she did.

She pulled off to the side of the road and stayed in her car, she was actually shy and extremely self-conscious, not about what she did today, but about the past years when she was blinded by... stupidity! Because saying Love here is not the right word, not at all. He knew it, she didn't.

*Tik tik* She turns to her left, he was there at the door, smiling. Not a full smile, not a sarcastic smile... just a smile. A smile that only he can smile. She looked up and smiled back at him. She put the window down and he stuck his head inside while his hands sat crossed on the car door next to her.

He looked straight in her eyes and said something to her that she never thought she would hear him say it considering the circumstances she's going through right now. She started laughing hysterically.

- Damn you!
She kept laughing, looked down and then looked up and he was still smiling, but this time it was a wide smile showing off his perfectly aligned teeth.

She said "I missed you".
He nodded. "Hop in, that thing you drive sucks, so hop in with me".
He walked towards his car, she locked her car and followed him.

-Never ever call my car a thing you asshole!" She smiled and stuck her tongue out.
-I will call it a thing and there's nothing you can do about it, little missy!
-I can't believe you said that to me while we were in the car! You're crazy! Seriously? This is the best thing you can do? Can't you see my eyes are all teary and red, and my nose is like Rodolph's? My voice is barely heard and tis is all you came up with!

She imitated his voice and tone and said: "Let's go to...*

Sorry I have to go again, my favorite TV show is on.

Kylie - Part I

The long awaited post by *sounds like a car breaking so fast to an old lady crossing the road... The driver, a 32 year old woman, shocked by the enormous feeling of confusion, decision making and extremely rapid heart beating she has just experienced over the split seconds* who exactly?

Are you with me? *Walking in a mall, looking for something and not knowing what exactly!
- Why are all people walking towards me, how come I am the only one walking forth? Or maybe they're the ones going the right direction!*

But it's okay, don't judge her yet, she's just confused, many people are! Weren't you at one point? *Loud voice, startled her immediately, that voice! That accent! Hispanic?
- Is this what you want?
God knew how much she felt hopeful in that instant, wishing that whoever it is, telling her about whatever it is, was what she was looking for exactly! She just wanted God's divine intervention.*

Understandable, completely and utterly understandable. Looking for someone to throw the answer to us, because we tried, worked hard, thought thoroughly, researched heavily, asked unlimited number of questions and listened infiniftely! But no answer was revealed, we might seem lazy, we might seem like we dig procrastination, but really, God's divine intervention, some people call it luck, other refer to it as coincidence and some simply think it's fate, has to do with so much.

*She looked to her right, she did not move her body, she just turned her neck to the east! She found him, a middle aged guy, pointing to an ice cream booth, waiting for his daughter to decide if this is what she wants! His 3 or 4 year old daughter, did not know the difference between Ice cream and candy! Not a bright child apparently.

She was so jealous of the decision the kid had to made, she prayed that her decision would come down to something so easy and not a life changing decision.

But she remembered, when she was a kid, many decisions felt like life changing for her when they weren't! Could the decision she had to make be relatively simple for her when she looks at it 20 years from now?*

Poor Kylie. Don't you think? Overwhelmed with so many emotions, so many thoughts and so many occuring and re-occuring factors that keep bewildering her into making the right choice.

*Boum, Dijj, crack!
- Fuckin'... shit... fuck.... this hurts!
But that severe pain awakened her... She suddenly realised where the hell she was, and what she really wanted.
She did a 180 degrees, almost did a sprint towards his shop, stormed in, slapped his ugly face, threw him a 100$ bill and said:
- I hate you! I despise you! You're despicable! How could you do this to me? You're a ...
*

Am sorry I have to go, the cleaning lady wants my help.

Silsilet jibel lebnen el gharbiye

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